Never is a Promise
by darkaccalia520
Summary: This story is pre-seaQuest. Kristin's past is riddled with hurt, and she feels there is no way out until she meets Nathan Bridger. AU. *COMPLETE*
1. A World of Hurt

**Chapter 1**

**2008**

Kristin Nelson woke up and stared in the mirror. She realized how very unhappy she was, but she was not sure how to become happy. She was stuck in a loveless marriage. It had not always been that way. She tried to remember when she was happy. Charles was so loving and gentle when she had first met him.

**1996**

She had been living in California for only a short time after attending medical school in England. Fresh out of medical school and working on her master's in marine biology at Stanford University, the last thing Kristin had expected was to meet a handsome political science graduate. He was tall, had dark hair and gorgeous blue eyes and strong features. The two had little in common, but opposites attract, as the saying goes. The two fell in love almost instantly and were married within a year. Married life was blissful for the newlyweds. Charles was beginning his political career, so, a move to New York seemed natural after both receiving their master's degrees. Kristin attended New York University and started working in the medical facility as a doctor, and Charles interned for some famous senator.

A couple of years went by. Charles had been working his way up the political ladder. His ultimate goal was senator, but everyone must start somewhere. However, he seemed to have trouble getting anywhere in the New York political system. He had heard that Florida was in need of some good politicians, so a move there was in order. He ran for office and was elected-Orange county treasurer. It wasn't much, but at least his foot was in the door.

**1998**

Kristin was the supportive wife during elections; she'd put her own career on hold after the move to support Charles. After the move, however, she found it difficult to make friends. She did not fit in with the political members or the other wives. She was looking forward to working because she should find friends who shared her ideals and interests. She was planning to look for a job, but a little surprise occurred. Kristin found out she was pregnant. It was decided best that she should wait until after the baby was born to go back to work. Nine months later, on December 5, 1998, Cynthia Marie Nelson was born, and Kristin and Charles were proud parents. Cynthia looked very much like Charles, except for her auburn-colored hair and her hazel eyes. However, shortly thereafter, Charles began to change.

Charles began working longer hours and became more career-oriented than before, which may not have been so bad, but with this came great personality changes. He told Kristin he did not want her to go back to work because no child of his was going to be raised in a day care or by a nanny; he felt the best place for Kristin was to stay home and raise the baby until she was in school. Although it was not what they had discussed before Cynthia came along, Kristin reluctantly obliged. She wanted to do what was best for her child, and being a parent was about sacrifices, was it not? Her career could wait, and so could friends.

**1999**

Cynthia was a wonderful baby, and Kristin loved being a mother. But, when Cynthia started walking, Kristin longed to have another little baby in her arms again. Charles was now mayor, and was home even less now. When he was home, he was an attentive father to Cynthia, but was a cold and inattentive husband. Intimacy between the two was rare now, but all couples go through that, right? She decided that perhaps she was doing something wrong.

One evening, after Cynthia was asleep, Charles came home late. Kristin had stayed up, dressed in sexy lingerie, hoping to spice up her marriage. Charles walked in the door and up the stairs to the bedroom. He opened the door and saw Kristin in a sexy pose. She rose to embrace him, but he pushed her away.

"I'm just really tired," he explained.

She nodded, but the hurt she felt was evident on her face.

The next morning, she awoke early enough to catch Charles before he left for work.

"Charles, I want another baby," Kristin said.

"Kristin, I don't think that's a good idea."

"Well, whyever not?"

"My career is going smoothly, and you expect me to handle another baby?" his voice rose.

"Handle a baby? You barely handle the one we have now! I am the one handling everything with her considering you're hardly ever home. What difference would another one make?" Kristin yelled back.

An explanation was never given; he turned and slammed the door.

He called later and apologized to her. He said he would try to be more attentive to her and think about having another child. Although she was unsure why he had changed his mind, she was willing to trust that he would try to be a better husband. And for a while, he was. He was home by 6 PM every night, and they ate dinner as a family. Then, after putting the baby to bed, it was as though Charles and Kristin were newlyweds again, at least in the bedroom. Although Kristin doubted the feelings being genuine, she wanted desperately to believe they were. She was a lonely woman needing to be loved, so she put the doubts out of her mind. After a few months Kristin found out she was pregnant again. Charles began working more again, and became less attentive once more, confirming Kristin's doubts. But he had given Kristin what she wanted, so she was happy for the time being.

However, the pregnancy was not meant to be because a few weeks later, Kristin had a miscarriage.

At at time in her life when she was feeling the most helpless and needed the comfort of her husband's arms, to reassure her, to tell her they would try again, he just patted her arm and said, "Maybe it's for the best."

This was the day she realized that this Charles Nelson was not the man she had married. That Charles Nelson was long gone, and he was nowhere to be found.


	2. Bad Romance

**Chapter 2**

**2000**

If it had not been for Cynthia, Kristin probably would have gone into a deep depression. Although she was quite sad due to the loss of the baby, she forced herself not to let it control her. She had to remain strong and be a good mother to her surviving child. She devoted herself to Cynthia because Charles was never around, and when he was, it seemed useless. Charles was only concerned with his career, and he barely seemed interested in Cynthia anymore. Kristin wanted desperately to leave, but she had no money. Charles gave her no access to the finances, except when it came to purchasing groceries or clothing or other basic necessities. Kristin scolded herself for being so stupid; she was an intelligent woman. She should have known better than to allow herself to be in this type of situation. She vowed that as soon as Cynthia was in school, she would get her career back so that she could get out of this marriage. Never would she allow herself to be in a situation like this again. Although she had still wanted another child, she did not want to bring another child into a situation like this. Cynthia was already a helpless victim, and Kristin could not let this happen to another child. However, Charles had other plans.

Charles had known what Kristin was planning. He knew their marriage was practically over, but he did not want to lose her. She was a wonderful trophy wife, and she was an asset at election time. Although he and Kristin barely spoke anymore, unless it concerned Cynthia, he wanted to create the image of a happy family for the next election, especially if he wanted to be senator.

The truth was he had been cheating on Kristin for months, but he was almost positive she had no idea. Even if she did know, she never let on that she did. And, he certainly did not want a scandal to get out to the press. He did still care for Kristin because she was the mother of her child, but she had become so cold towards him. For the past several months, he'd been trying to initiate intimacy, but she always pushed him away.

He had managed to keep the affairs (yes, there were several) a secret and planned to keep it that way. He realized he was going to have to put his liaisons on hold for the time being for the sake of his political career. He knew Kristin still wanted another child, and he had to pretend to be the attentive and loving husband, even though his former attempts were not accepted.

He decided he had to rekindle his marriage. He made a point to be home early every night and actually try to talk to his wife. At first, she didn't seem very interested in doing so, only giving one word answers. However, after a few evenings, she began to open up. He told her how much he had missed her and that he wanted to make their marriage work, even though they had grown apart. Kristin couldn't believe it; did he really feel remorse? Did he really want to be a good husband and father?

Again, Kristin went through some psychological turmoil wondering whether she should listen with her heart or her head. She had made a promise to herself that she wouldn't allow Charles to hurt her again, but she wanted this so desperately. In the end, she decided to give Charles another chance.

**2003**

Charles managed to keep up the facade of the loving husband for a few years. He still had affairs, but they were few and far between. Discretion was the key, and he needed to prepare for elections, which were less than a year away. He needed to keep his marriage happy, or at least make it appear that way. Kristin became pregnant again, and after a few months, it was evident that it was going to be a successful one.

Kristin was happy, even though this put her career on hold once again. She believed had the kind of marriage she desired and Cynthia would not be an only child. On May 20, 2003, Jasmine Lynn Nelson was born. She was the spitting image of Kristin, except for her father's blue eyes. Kristin and Charles were once again very happy. They had two beautiful daughters, and it seemed their family was now complete.

**2004**

Election time rolled around once again, and Charles was elected senator with his wife and daughters by his side. But, being a senator took a lot of Charles' time, and once again, he was home less and less. Kristin's marriage was stuck in a rut once again. When Charles was home, he was distant and cold. He seemed angered over the smallest things. If little Cynthia left a toy in his way, he yelled. If Kristin forgot to wash his favorite shirt, he yelled. If the baby cried and interrupted his train of thought, he yelled. Kristin found herself having to walk on eggshells around Charles because she never knew what would upset him, and she did her best to keep the girls quiet when he was home.

Charles no longer needed to keep up a wonderful family image, so he was back to his old ways. He was having more and more affairs, and he was being less and less careful about keeping it a secret from Kristin. Kristin started finding small clues to her husband's whereabouts late at night. He would come home smelling of perfume that was not hers. She found phone numbers with names like Roxanne and Lola scribbled on pieces of paper in his pockets when doing laundry. She realized what was happening and instantly chastised herself for trusting Charles again.

**2005**

Kristin had decided not to confront Charles on her discovery just yet. As much as she wanted to get out of this situation, again, she was a woman stuck. She had no money, and now she had two daughters to think about. Charles had become a powerful man, and his personality changes worried her about how angry he may become during such a confrontation. So, she devoted herself to her daughters and decided to wait until she had more evidence. It was possible it was all innocent, wasn't it? Of course, she really didn't believe that.

**2007**

Miserably, Kristin listened to the gossip as she tried to look as though she was having a good time. Charles had dragged her to one of his business dinners in a fancy restaurant, and she was forced to try to mingle with the other wives while the men were in the bar area talking business. Kristin was known around the political circuit as the 'Ice Queen'. It was assumed she was stuck up and had a heart as cold as ice, but the truth was that Kristin was embarrassed about her marriage, and she did not want anyone to find out about it. So, she revealed very little to any of the other women with whom she had little in common anyway. And, it did not help that Charles confirmed that she was cold as ice at home as well. Kristin had suspected that he had been the one to start calling her that. Of course, she did not have proof.

After an arduous evening of trying to be friendly, it was time to go home. Kristin was relieved, but the relief was short felt as she and Charles got into the car. He immediately began yelling at her because of the ridiculous way she had acted at the restaurant, according to him.

"You are such an embarrassment to me! I don't even know why I let you come to these events. You could have at least pretended to be having a good time."

This was not a surprise to Kristin. Charles had been treating her this way for the past couple of years.

"Well perhaps next time you can take one of your little girlfriends and leave me home," Kristin retorted, immediately regretting it.

She never let on that she knew of Charles' affairs, and now she had done so carelessly. She never wanted to confront him about it when he was already angry. And she would find it was the worst mistake she could have made.


	3. A Light in the Dark

**Chapter 3**

**2007**

Charles had seen red when Kristin mentioned his girlfriends. The fact that Kristin knew his secret could mean his political demise. He had to shut her up. And with that thought, he backhanded Kristin across the face.

After this, the both the verbal and physical abuse came at regular intervals for Kristin. Charles felt he had to put the fear into his wife to discourage her from leaving so that the press would not find out about his affairs. His career meant everything to him, and he was not going to allow her to ruin it.

**2008**

Kristin continued to be a good mother to her daughters and tolerate the abuse of her husband. The years went by and the girls grew. Soon, Jasmine would be starting school, Kristin thought, and perhaps she would be able to reclaim her life and get out of the horrible situation in which she had allowed herself to be.

Kristin became very good at hiding her bruises from the children and anyone else who saw her. Since her family lived in England, and she rarely saw them, they had no idea. Since Charles was rarely home when Cynthia and Jasmine were awake, the girls never saw the way Charles treated Kristin.

She felt there was little she could do to help her situation currently. Charles had cut her down so much that she had little confidence in herself. She did her best to blend in. But, little did Kristin know that she would soon meet someone from whom she could not hide.

**2009**

Nathan and Carol Bridger and Bill and Janet Noyce were out to dinner to celebrate the Noyces' anniversary. The dinner conversation was light and friendly. As the evening progressed, the conversation turned towards Nathan's plans for a yet-to-be-named, state-of-the-art submarine.

"Nathan, I completely support you on this, but there is one thing we need," Bill stated.

Nathan looked at Bill Noyce quizzically, wondering what he forgot to add to his plans.

"Funding," Bill stated simply.

Nathan stated matter-of-factly, "That's why I am coming to you. I had hoped you could persuade the Navy brass that this is the future of the United States Navy. This will revolutionize everything we already know."

"Nathan, the problem won't be persuading the brass. I can already tell you that they will jump on the idea. But, whether it's the Navy brass or you proposing the idea, you're still going to need benefactors for the project."

"How do I go about doing that?" Nathan inquired.

"Give me a few weeks, and I'll let you know where to be and when."

The Noyces and the Bridgers said good night and went home, leaving Nathan wondering what Bill had up his sleeve.

Kristin had just finished reading a newspaper article about a man named Nathan Hale Bridger, a commander in the US Navy. Normally, Kristin did not care for men in the military. Kristin was the daughter of a retired British Royal Navy Commodore, and he and Kristin did not always see eye to eye. However, this Nathan Bridger had done many studies in oceanic geography and marine biology, and that sparked Kristin's interest. The article stated that he needed funding for his submarine project. This gave Kristin an idea.

She left the paper on Charles desk open to the article. She was hoping her plan would work; of course, she could never suggest to Charles that he should help fund such a project because he would want to know her reasons. But, if he discovered such an idea for himself that would help boost his career, he would jump at the chance.

Later that evening, Charles arrived home from work. As usual, he headed straight to his office. After a short time, Kristin could hear him making phone calls. A couple of hours later, he went looking for her.

"We are going out to dinner, and you'd better not embarrass me. We are going to meet some military gentleman, and if things work out in my favor, it will help boost my career. And you better act like you are having a good time," he said through clenched teeth as he grabbed her arm.

Kristin managed a shaky, "Yes, Dear." But even through her fear of Charles, she was secretly happy that she was going to meet this Nathan Bridger.


	4. Anything But Ordinary

**Chapter 4**

**2009**

Nathan got up off the couch to answer the phone. He glanced at the clock as he said, "Hello" and wondered who in the world would be calling at 9:30 PM on a Thursday night.

"Nathan?" he heard Bill Noyce say, "Listen, I know it's late, but you'll never believe who just called me-Senator Charles Nelson," he said without waiting for a reply from Nathan.

"OK...but I'm a little confused, Bill. You'll have to give me more information; it's a little late at night for riddles," said Nathan, with his wry sense of humor.

"Nathan, he wants to meet you, right now, tonight. You and Carol better get dressed up because we are due at the Venetian Room in a half an hour. The senator and his wife are meeting us; he is very interested in helping you with your funding. I know it's late, but this is something you cannot pass up," Bill said, not letting Nathan get a word in edgewise.

"Alright, alright, Bill. I get it. See you in a bit." Nathan hung up the phone and called, "Carol," who was in the bedroom reading. "I have some great news."

When Charles and Kristin arrived at the door of the Venetian Room, he turned to Kristin and grabbed her arm. "You'd better make me look good," he reminded her.

Kristin nodded, pulling from his forceful grasp.

Charles pushed open the door. Bill and Janet Noyce and Nathan and Carol Bridger were already waiting for them.

"Senator, over here," Bill Noyce called, waving his hand, although there was no need due to the fact the lobby was almost empty.

"Captain Noyce, it's so nice to finally meet you in person," Charles said, extending his hand to shake. "Uh, this is my wife, Kristin."

Bill shook hands with Kristin and introduced her to Janet.

"Senator, Mrs. Nelson, I'd like to introduce Commander Nathan Bridger. And this is his wife, Carol."

"Please call me Nathan, Senator," Nathan said, shaking hands with Charles.

"And you may call me Charles," said the senator, "This is my wife, Kristin."

Nathan shook hands with the woman, and he noticed how lovely she truly was. He loved Carol with all his heart, and he always thought she was pretty, with golden blonde hair, big blue eyes, and a kind smile. However, just because he was happily married did not mean he could not appreciate another woman's beauty. And he certainly did appreciate it, although he noticed that Mrs. Nelson seemed a bit was the complete opposite of Carol, with gorgeous brown eyes and auburn-colored tresses that he wanted to run his hands through.

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Nelson," Nathan said, shaking her hand gently.

"And it's nice to meet you, Commander Bridger," she said in a quiet, but lovely British tone, "And y-you may call me Kristin," she added.

"Alright, Kristin. Please call me Nathan. And this is my wife, Carol," Nathan gently pushed Carol towards her so the two women could shake hands.

After the introductions, the three couples entered the dining room and were seated to a table.

During dinner, the conversation was light. Nathan couldn't help notice how quiet Kristin was, though. He found it hard to keep his eyes off of her, and he wondered what she may be hiding. But, he did not have much time to ponder what the mystery was because dinner was over before he knew it, and Senator Nelson did waste a single moment getting down to business.

"So, Nathan. I am very interested in helping you fund your submarine. I was thinking that we could have a very large event, a gala of sorts, a large event. We would invite Navy personnel who would be involved in the project, and I could pull some strings and get other politicos on board. And, of course, we would invite the press," Charles Nelson said, laying everything out on the table.

"That sounds very impressive, Charles. But, why are you so interested in helping me?" Nathan inquired.

"Because I believe that your project is the future of the United States, and, as I always must think of the future of this country as a senator," Charles stated, flashing a big, fake smile that many politicians do. "It will take a few months to organize such an event, but we'll be in touch. I'll keep you and Bill informed on all the plans."

"Of course, Senator. I don't expect this to happen overnight," Nathan said politely, although he knew he needed the funding, he had a hard time trusting a politician, especially this one.

He had a feeling that Senator Nelson was more concerned with boosting his career and getting publicity rather than helping him. And with the gala event being planned, he knew he may be trusting more politicians. But, Bill had told him this was what had to happen. So, Nathan had conceded his project to fate.

"OK, so it's all set," Bill broke in, slapping Nathan on the back, breaking up his thoughts, "Now, who wants dessert?"

Dessert and coffee was ordered. Nathan thoughts travelled back to Kristin, wondering how to get her to open up. "So, Mrs. Nelson, I mean, Kristin, what is your occupation?"

Kristin looked up from her coffee a bit surprised that he wanted to know anything about her at all. She was just doing her best to blend in and keep out of Charles' way during the evening.

"Well, actually I am a doctor. Well, at least I was," she said quietly, "I also have a master's in marine biology and plan to get my doctorate. I am going back to school in the fall now that my youngest is in school full time."

"Well, we'll have to discuss that," Charles said, but Nathan ignored him.

"Really? A doctor? Maybe I could borrow your wife, Senator? I've been having some trouble with the medical labs on the ship and would love to have a doctor's opinion. You know one of my degrees is in marine biology," Nathan said.

Charles was a bit upset that Nathan seemed interested in anything Kristin had to offer, but he certainly couldn't let it show.

"Of course; I'm sure we can arrange something," Charles said, flashing another fake smile.

Nathan gave a nod of thanks to Charles. "So, you have children?", he asked Kristin.

"Yes...two girls. Cynthia is ten, almost eleven and Jasmine just turned six," Kristin said a bit more confident now that someone took an interest in her.

"Kristin, I don't think Nathan is interested in our children," Charles said, still not liking the fact that Nathan kept trying to get Kristin to speak.

"On the contrary, Charles," Nathan said, "Carol and I have a son. Bill and Janet have children as well. Our son, Robert, is a cadet in the Naval academy right now. So is Bill and Janet's son, Bill jr., and their daughter, Ginny, just graduated high school."

"Well speaking of children, we ought to call and check on ours, shouldn't we, Sweetheart?" Charles said, wanting to break up this conversation,

"We need to call home," he said to the others, "Excuse us for a moment."

He grabbed her hand and ushered her into the lobby. Since it was almost closing time in the dining area, the lobby was empty.

Nathan excused himself, telling the others he needed to use the restroom. However, he had sensed the senator may not have the intentions that he claimed. He had been acting strange and he wanted to know what he was up to. He hid in the doorway to the lobby so that he could not be seen. His suspicions were confirmed.

In the lobby, Charles squeezed Kristin's wrist and pulled her forcefully to him so that his face was just inches away from hers.

"What the hell was that?" he asked through clenched teeth, raising his voice a bit to show his anger but not loud enough for anyone else to hear.

"I was just being polite, You told me to pretend to have a good time," Kristin stammered, trying to pull away from him because his grip was hurting her.

"Yes, well I didn't tell you to talk about your meaningless life. Nobody cares. He was just being polite because you looked so bored. Someone had to wake you up. When you come back in that dining room, you'd better have a smile on your face. And if anyone asks you anymore questions, you had better not give such boring answers.", Charles demanded.

"Yes, Dear," Kristin said, practically in tears. Charles stormed off back into the dining room, no seeing Nathan.

Nathan walked up behind Kristin and placed a gentle hand on her trembling shoulders, causing Kristin to jump.

"Are you alright?" he asked with concern in his voice, "I-I didn't mean to frighten you."

Kristin quickly wiped her tears from her cheeks and turned to him, "Y-yes I'm fine. I was just a bit worried about my daughter. You see, she wasn't feeling well when we left our house," Kristin said quickly.

"No, I mean, is your wrist OK?" Nathan asked.

"W-what?" Kristin stammered, feeling her face go hot with mortification.

Nathan gently took Kristin's wrist in his hand to examine it. Ugly, purple, finger-shaped bruises encircled it where Charles hand had been. He looked into Kristin's eyes, which were again filled with tears.

"Does this happen often?" Nathan asked.

Kristin just nodded, unable to speak. Then, she suddenly recovered her senses.

"Y-you can't tell anyone...please," she quietly pleaded with him.

"But, this isn't right. You can't allow this. We have to stop this. Have you reported it?" Nathan said, wanting to help her.

"Commander, my husband knows every police officer in this town, and they would never go against him. Believe me, there were a few reports made in the past. It only made things worse," Kristin said miserably.

"What about your children? Do you want your daughters to think this is the way men are supposed to treat women. What kind of example are you setting for them?" Nathan asked, suddenly regretting his delivery.

A spark of anger rose in Kristin that she had not felt in a long time, "Excuse me? How dare you question how I am raising my daughters! For your information, Sir, and I use that term loosely, my children know nothing about it, and I plan to keep it that way!" she shot back, surprised by being able to truly speak her mind, but realizing she may have been a bit too hard on the man.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"No, no, it's OK", Nathan quickly cut her off, "You're right. I don't really know you, and I should not have questioned you're parenting skills.

Then, Nathan placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and moved her chin up with his other hand so that he was sure she was looking into his eyes. "Kristin, please let me help you. You can't let him hurt you anymore."

Kristin could see the sincerity and kindness in this man, something a man had not shown her in a long time. She could have easily fallen in love with him, but something suddenly reminded her that he was married. Why would another man, who was married, be so concerned about her? She was a bit concerned that he may have feelings for her. Since she didn't know whether Nathan Bridger was the type of man who cheated on his wife or if he was just generally concerned about the people he met, she decided she had to do something.

"Thank you, but I'll be fine," she said quickly, "I-i'd better be getting back. Charles will be wondering what's keeping me. I am sure your wife is wondering where you are too," and with that, she pulled away from him and turned and walked back towards the door to the dining room, but she turned back to him before entering.

"I'm sure I'll see you at the gala."

Nathan nodded, reluctantly agreeing to leave the situation alone for the time being. He watched Kristin as she turned back and entered the dining room.

The truth was Nathan did feel something for her. She was so vulnerable and fragile, and he couldn't stand to see that. He loved Carol with all his heart, but there was something about Kristin. And now that he knew her secret, he desperately wanted to help her. He definitely wanted to be a friend to her because it seemed she needed one. He just was not sure how yet. With this thought, he went back to the dining room as well.


	5. Let Me In

**Chapter 5**

**2009**

As Nathan and Carol left the restaurant, he was lost deep in thought. He was questioning if he really wanted to trust this Charles Nelson, especially with the knowledge he so recently learned concerning his wife.

"You're awfully quiet, Dear," Carol Bridger observed, interrupting Nathan's thoughts.

Nathan couldn't tell Carol his real reasons for his pensiveness. "I suppose I am just feeling a little overwhelmed. I didn't expect it all to happen so fast, with the submarine I mean. Plus, it is past my bedtime," Nathan said with a small chuckle at the end to reassure Carol that everything was alright.

"Well, I am proud of you. It's about time someone puts some faith in you besides the Noyces and I. You deserve it," Carol said placing a hand of reassurance on his knee.

"Thank you, Darling. That means a lot to hear you say that." Nathan took Carol's hand in his own and gave it a gentle kiss. The rest of the ride home was quiet, but they continued to hold hands.

After going to bed, Nathan held Carol in his arms while she slept. Although he was tired, his thoughts were keeping him awake. He couldn't stop thinking about Kristin...and ultimately Charles. It did not take a genius to know that Kristin was an intelligent woman. If Charles would let her speak, one could tell just by one conversation how very smart Kristin was. Why would she allow this to happen? And, what about the children? Nathan was hurting just thinking about it all. And, although he was reluctant to allow the Senator to help with his project, Nathan decided it had to be done. Nathan definitely did not like what the Senator did, but he felt it was the only way to stay in Kristin's life. Somehow, someway, Nathan vowed, he would help Kristin. When all was said and done, he would guarantee that Charles would never hurt Kristin again.

As a couple of months went by, Nathan continued to think about Kristin. He did not expect to see her until the gala, as she had said. But, Nathan returned home from work one day, and Carol greeted him at the door.

"Hello, Sweetheart," Carol greeted him. "Senator Nelson called for you."

"Hi, Honey," Nathan hugged her. "Did he say what he wanted?"

"He invited us for dinner at his house tonight. He wants to discuss the preparations for the gala with you," Carol explained, "I told him that I was feeling a bit under the weather though. You know I've had a cold. I certainly don't want to get him or his family sick. I told him that I would have you call him."

"I'll call him and see if we can do it next week. You should feel better by then," Nathan said.

"No, Dear. Just call him and tell him you'll go. You don't want to keep the Senator waiting. He's a busy man. If you turn him down, he might think you're not serious," Carol said.

"If you're sure. You'll be OK by yourself?" Nathan asked.

"Nathan, it's just a cold," Carol laughed, "not the bubonic plague. All I want to do is go to bed anyway. I wouldn't be much company."

"OK, I'll tell the Senator it's a go. Thanks, Sweetheart," Nathan gave Carol a peck on the cheek.

"Anytime," Carol said, as she entered the bedroom.

Nathan pulled his car in front of the address that the Senator had given him, a large white mansion with black polished granite stairs. As Nathan climbed the stairs to the door, he noticed the yard was filled with all kinds of flowering bushes and flower boxes lined the windows, obviously a woman's touch. He wondered if Kristin had designed the landscape. He rang the doorbell.

Nathan had expected either Charles or Kristin to answer the door, but he was a bit surprised as the door opened and no one was there. He looked down and saw a little girl with sparkling blue eyes and long auburn curls standing there.

"Hi," she said with a smile.

"Well, hello, Sweetie. I'm here to see your Daddy; is he here?" Nathan said in a friendly tone.

"Jasmine!" Nathan heard another girl's voice as an older girl with hazel eyes and the same-colored auburn hair tied into a pony tail came up behind the little girl, "You know you aren't supposed to open the door to strangers!"

"But, he's not a stranger" the little girl implored, "He's Daddy's friend. And I was trying to be _hospital_!"

Nathan laughed at this and so did her older sister, "You mean hospitable," Cynthia said.

"That's what I said," Jasmine said, throwing her hands into the air.

"Well you aren't doing too good of a job, leaving our guest out on the porch," Cynthia stated, turning to Nathan, "I apologize for my little sister. I'm Cynthia." She extended her hand, and as Jasmine elbowed her sister, Cynthia got the hint. "And this is Jasmine. Please come in."

"Thank you; I'm Nathan Bridger," Nathan said as he followed Cynthia into the house.

Nathan followed the two girls into a hallway leading into a large front room. Cynthia turned to Nathan and explained, "My mother is in the kitchen finishing dinner and my father is in his office. He is on an important phone call, and we're not supposed to bother him. I will let Mom know that you're here. You may wait here, Mr. Bridger."

Nathan nodded, a bit awestruck by how very mature Cynthia was. How old had Kristin said she was? Nathan was trying to remember, but as he waited, he felt a small tug on the leg of his pants.

He looked down and saw the big sparkling blue eyes of Jasmine. He knelt down to speak to her. "And what can I do for you?" Nathan asked her.

"Do you want to see what I made at school?" And without waiting for an answer, the excited child ran off and came back a few moments later with a pink and purple backpack. She opened it up and retrieved a drawing. Nathan could tell it was a family picture.

"Wow, that's beautiful!" Nathan said to her.

"This is me, this is Cynnie, and this is Mommy," Jasmine said pointing to different figures on the picture. "And we're playing at the park," she explained, "My teacher, Mrs. Jones, said it was one of the best in the class, and she gave me a gold star!" she said proudly.

"Where's your Daddy?" Nathan wondered out loud.

"He's at work. He always busy. He says he doesn't have time for nonsense like that," Jasmine said a bit sadly, as her smile faded.

Nathan's heart sank. He tried to think of something to console the child, but before Nathan could say anything more, Kristin came into the room.

"Nathan!" she greeted him, "How nice to see you again! Please come in. Dinner will be ready in about ten minutes. Charles is just finishing up on a business call. May I get you anything to drink?" she asked him as he followed her into the dining room. Kristin gestured to the bar along the side of the dining room, indicating the alcoholic beverages that were available.

"No, I better not drink alcohol since I'm driving. Do you have Coke?" Nathan asked.

"Of course," Kristin said with a smile. As she turned to enter the kitchen, Kristin said in a warning but kind voice, "Girls please don't bother Mr. Bridger while he's waiting for your father."

"Oh, they're no bother at all. I've truly enjoyed meeting them," Nathan called after her. He was not about to brush the two girls aside as their father had obviously done.

While Kristin was in the kitchen, Nathan and the girls sat at the table.

"What grade are you girls in at school?" Nathan asked trying to make conversation.

"I'm in sixth grade," Cynthia said. "I'm really supposed to be in fifth, but I was too bored. Mom talked to the school, and they gave me some tests. Then, they advanced me. I'm in some advanced math and science courses, and I'm not so bored now," Cynthia explained.

Nathan let out a surprised whistle. As he was about to ask Cynthia another question, Jasmine interrupted, "I'm in kindergarten! I'm going to skip a grade too. Next year, I'll be in second grade!"

"No you're not! You aren't supposed to lie," Cynthia chastised her. She turned to Nathan, "She wants to be like me, so she makes up stories. She is really going to be going into first grade just like all the other kids in her class," Cynthia explained.

Jasmine stuck her tongue out at Cynthia, as Kristin walked back into the room carrying a can of Coke and a glass of ice, placing them in front of Nathan, and turning to her daughter.

"Jasmine Lynn Nelson! What have I told you about that?" Kristin scolded Jasmine.

"But, Mommy, Cynnie told me I couldn't skip grades in school, too," Jasmine explained in defense.

Kristin rolled her eyes a bit, indicating this was a discussion had many times between the two. "Jasmine, Honey, we've talked about this. First of all, you don't have the problem your sister had, at least not yet. Maybe someday, you can skip grades, too, but right now, you are doing just fine in the grade you are in. Second of all, it does not make it OK to stick your tongue out at someone, no matter what. Now, you need to apologize to your sister, and to Mr. Bridger," she said firmly, hoping it was the last time this would be explained but secretly knowing better.

Jasmine walked around to her sister's side of the table and gave her older sister a hug. Then, in a solemn voice, she said, "I'm sorry, Cynnie."

Cynthia said, "It's OK, Squirt. I still love you even though your a pain sometimes," returning the hug.

Then, Jasmine turned to Nathan with a little pout on her face. "I'm sorry for acting naughty, Mr, Bridger."

Nathan put an arm around her, "It's OK, Honey. I'm not mad," Nathan reassured her.

Nathan was enjoying the light mood of the evening. Maybe he had been worried about Kristin for no reason. But, then, he realized it could be a front for his benefit, at least on Kristin's part. He could tell Kristin loved her daughters very much and was a good mother. He suddenly remembered how he had question those abilities on their first meeting and how Kristin reacted. Now he understood why. The love among the three was evident.

"Nathan Bridger," Charles entered the room. Immediately, Nathan could feel a change in the mood. Kristin stiffened a bit. The girls quieted. "I'm so glad you could make it," Charles continued, as he shook Nathan's hand, "Sorry about your wife."

"Well, thank you for having me. Carol's fine...just a cold, but she didn't want to get anyone else sick," Nathan explained,

"Of course, Nathan. And, I'm glad to hear that about Carol." Charles stated. He turned to Kristin, "Isn't dinner ready yet?" he asked in a tone Nathan did not quite like.

"Yes, we were just waiting for you,"Kristin said, turning into the kitchen. Cynthia rose to help her mother, and she and Kristin brought out serving dishes. Wonderful smells wafted from the dishes as lids were removed. Roast beef, mashed potatoes with gravy, and green beans were placed onto plates and passed around. Kristin served everyone else before sitting down herself, which made Nathan feel a bit awkward. He did not want Kristin to feel as though she was a servant. She checked to see if he or Charles needed anything before eating.

As Nathan began eating, he was pleased to find it tasted as good as it smelled. Dinner was quiet with little conversation. He wondered if the Nelsons ate in silence every night. After dinner, cherry pie with ice cream was served for dessert. After dessert, Kristin and the girls went into the kitchen to do homework at clean up the dinner dishes.

Meanwhile, Charles ushered Nathan into his office to begin explaining the details for the gala. "I've made a lot of phone calls, and I've had a lot of meetings, Nathan. So far, I've got Senators Martin and Crane, Governor Richards, and Mayor Thompson on board. They, in turn, have invited other political heads. Bill Noyce, as you may already know, has already invited all the Navy Brass. The gala will be at the ball room of the Hilton Hotel on Saturday November 14th, starting at 8:00 P.M. I certainly hope you are pleased with the arrangements. Everyone is very interested in this submarine, and that means you will get the funding you need."

"Senator, I don't know how to thank you for all this. I am very pleased, very much indeed. You've exceeded my expectations," Nathan said gratefully.

"Oh, Nathan, there's no need to thank me. Just making this work will be thanks enough. If you fail, I'll have to kill you," Charles laughed. However, Nathan was a bit worried about the joke. He knew Charles Nelson was a very serious career man, and if the submarine project failed, Charles' career would take a big hit. He suddenly remembered Kristin's words about how powerful her husband was; he wondered if Senator Nelson knew any hitmen. But, Nathan did not want this thought to intimidate him.

Nathan laughed nervously so as not to leave Charles feeling suspicious. "If I get the funding I need, there shouldn't be a problem."

"Well, it looks like everything's set then. Have you been preparing your presentation?" Charles asked Nathan, hoping Nathan would give him a preview of it to ensure that everything would go smoothly. Charles wanted to impress the other politicians and create the best image possible for the press.

Nathan presented the plans for the sub as he had done several times already, first to Bill Noyce, and to a few elite Navy Brass, and once to the Senator already, so he basically did the same thing, being a bit more technical in some areas, but being sure to explain the technicalities so even the most naive person could understand. After about an hour and a half so of talking with Charles, little Jasmine came bursting into the office in tears, dressed in a pink nightgown and clutching a teddy bear in one hand and a blanket in the other.

"Jasmine! You know you are not supposed to be in Daddy's office!" Charles scolded the obviously distressed child.

"B-but, Daddy, I had a bad dream. The monster was going to get Mommy again, and I couldn't help her," she sobbed.

"Look, I've told you before, there are no monsters. It was just a bad dream, and you've interrupted Daddy's important meeting," Charles said, not in a very comforting manner. Nathan truly felt sorry for the child. It was at this moment that Nathan doubted Kristin's words at the restaurant about the children not knowing how Charles treated her. He was willing to bet who Jasmine's monster was, and he was standing right in front of her.

Just then, Kristin ran in. "I'm so sorry, Charles. I told her not to come in here," Kristin said timidly, worried about Charles' reaction because the girls were never allowed in his office, whether he was in there or not. Then she turned to Nathan, "I am sorry to you too. Jasmine has been having these recurring nightmares, and we have a hard time calming her down sometimes," she explained.

"Yes, well, you ought to be. How many times have I told you to keep these kids out of my office?" Charles stated in a disciplinary tone that, again, Nathan did not like. Jasmine had stopped sobbing but was still crying a bit, and Nathan wanted everything to be calm again for both her and Kristin's sakes.

"It's OK, really. Please don't be angry at them. Remember, I had a small child not too long ago, too. I know how it can be sometimes, Charles," Nathan said, playing the role of mediator and hoping that Charles would concede.

Charles did not say anything but just nodded, not particularly liking the fact that Nathan had interrupted his lecture to Kristin and to his daughter, but willing to let it go for now. Nathan had wondered if Charles would make Kristin 'pay' for the mistake even though it was not her fault in the near future, but he was relieved that Charles dropped the subject for the time being.

"C'mon, Sweetheart", Kristin said as she picked Jasmine up as she looked at Nathan with a look of gratitude on her face, "Good night, Nathan." And with that, Kristin left the room to console her daughter and get her back to sleep.

Then, Charles' office phone rang. The room was quiet enough to hear that it was a woman's voice, although Nathan could not hear the words being said. Nathan picked up a magazine off the small office table near him and pretended to read it while Charles talked. "Oh, hi, Jim," Charles said, for Nathan's benefit. "You need me at the office right now? Uh-huh. I see. And just what will you do when you see me?"

Then, Charles laughed at whatever the response was, forgetting Nathan was in the room for a moment. It was obvious that Charles was flirting with the woman on the phone. He turned, seeing Nathan and remembering he was not alone. Clearing his throat, Charles said, "Um, yes, Jim. I'm just wrapping up a meeting. I'll be there in about twenty minutes. Right. See you soon."

Charles hung up the phone and turned to Nathan. "That was Tom...from the office. It seems there's a bit of an emergency down there. Is it OK if we wrap this meeting up. I think we have things in order, don't we? It sounds like your presentation is perfected," Charles said.

"Oh, of course, but didn't you say his name was Jim?" Nathan asked, catching Charles in his lie.

"Oh, right. I go through so many assistants; _last_ month was Tom. _This_ month is Jim. You have a good memory, Nathan; no one can get anything past you, can they?" Charles said, quickly coming up with an excuse for his lie.

"No, they cannot," Nathan stated in a matter-of-fact tone, leaving Charles feeling a bit nervous but not wanting to let Nathan know this.

"Yes, well, if you'll show yourself out, I'll be on my way. Good night." Charles quickly left the house, started his car and peeled out of the driveway.

Nathan sat in the office for a moment wondering if Kristin knew about Charles' affairs. He felt awkward about just leaving without saying goodnight to Kristin. He searched the rooms downstairs for any sign of her. When he did not find her, he walked upstairs to thank his hostess for the delicious dinner.


	6. Everybody Needs Somebody Sometimes

**Author's note: I know there are many people reading, and I thank you for this. Even though people may not be reviewing it, I hope you are enjoying it. I feel some explanation is in order, however. I had wanted this evening between Nathan and Kristin to be all in one chapter, but it would have been terribly long, so I decided to break it up. I have had some readers ask if Nathan and Kristin will be getting together soon. Although this may be disappointing to some readers, and I hope I do not give too much away, Nathan will not be physically cheating on Carol. I cannot deny he will not have an affair of the heart, however. I am sorry, but Nathan is a very moral man, and he is every woman's dream. If he cheated on Carol, it would taint this image; no woman wants a man who cheats. And, Kristin, being of strong moral fiber as well, would not do to another woman what Charles has done to her. Because the story will be ending in 2018, the beginning of seaQuest as we knew it, I do have some plans for Nathan and Kristin that the cameras did not show us, and further stories will have more romance. But, as I explained (if you've read my profile) that I am starting at the beginning. So, I hope this may answer a few questions that some of you may have, and I hope I have not ruined too much or turned anybody off. I will kindly stop rambling on now and continue with Chapter 6. Thank you. D **

**Chapter 6**

**2009**

As Nathan came to the top of the stairs, he came to a hallway. The hallway had six doors, most likely to bedrooms and a bathroom, but all were closed except one. This room's light was on, illuminating a small area of the hallway. Nathan quietly walked to the doorway and saw Kristin, rocking her youngest daughter to sleep, whispering soothing words to ease her fears. Nathan could see the little girl was already asleep, but since the girl's head was resting on Kristin's shoulder, Kristin did not know this. Nathan did not want to startle Kristin, so he knocked gently on the door frame so she knew he was there. Kristin shifted on the bed so that she could see who was there.

Nathan whispered, "She's back to sleep."

Kristin laid the girl gently on the bed and covered her up with blankets, tucking her in for the night. She placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, turned off the light, and closed the door as she and Nathan walked into the hall.

"Is there something you needed?" Kristin asked in a kind but bewildered tone, wondering why in the world he had come upstairs.

"I-I just wanted to thank you for the wonderful dinner. Charles actually left and told me to show myself out, but I didn't feel right just leaving," Nathan explained.

"Oh," Kristin said, "you're quite welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Um, well, goodnight."

Nathan really did not want the evening to end. He hoped he could talk to Kristin some more. As Kristin turned to enter her own bedroom, Nathan stopped her by grabbing her arm. "Wait," he said, but he was interrupted as Kristin gasped in pain. Nathan instantly released her, worried that he may have grabbed her too tightly.

"D-did I hurt you?" Nathan asked full of concern, "I'm sorry if I did; I just wanted to talk a little more."

"No, no," Kristin said, regaining her composure. "I-I..."

Kristin began crying because she didn't really have an excuse. How could she explain that Charles had beat her after an argument the other night and that she was covered in bruises and in pain. It wasn't Nathan's fault that he had grabbed her arm; Nathan did not cause the bruises.

Nathan suddenly understood. "He hurt you again, didn't he?"

Kristin nodded, still unable to speak.

Nathan said nothing more and gently pulled Kristin into a hug and held her while she cried.

After a short time, Kristin's sobs quieted. "Better now?" Nathan asked, pulling out of the embrace, but placing his hands on Kristin's shoulders to look at her.

"Y-yes. Thank you," Kristin said gratefully, wiping away stray tears from her cheeks.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Nathan asked, "I'm willing to listen."

Kristin was both relieved and reluctant. She was relieved that someone knew her secret, even though he found out by accident. However, at the same time, she was reluctant to share these details of her life. She mulled over the small debate in her head for a few moments. Then, she decided.

"That would mean a lot to me," Kristin said sincerely.

Nathan followed her downstairs to the living room. Kristin offered him coffee, and she made some herbal tea for herself. They sat down on the couch. Kristin, still feeling very unsure of herself, was silent, not knowing how to begin. Nathan seemed to sense this and started talking first.

"You don't have to be afraid; just say what's on your mind," Nathan encouraged.

"What's on my mind is that you must think I'm an idiot. You must be thinking about how I could let this happen, about how I could stay in this situation. I certainly feel like an idiot," Kristin stated miserably.

Nathan placed an arm around her shoulder. "I do not think you are an idiot. Do I want to help you? Yes, I do. I want to get you and your children out of this situation. I just think you don't know how to get out."

Kristin nodded. "I want you to know it wasn't always like this. The Charles you see now is not the man I married. He used to be gently and kind; he used to love me."

Nathan nodded, urging her to continue. So, Kristin began pouring her heart out. She told Nathan about her past, about the miscarriage, about the marital problems, about the first time Charles had beat her, and about his affairs. "I think I've forgotten what it's like to be on my own. Charles won't allow me to work, and I don't have any money. If I leave, how can I support myself and the girls?" Kristin said.

"I thought you said that you were going back to school?" Nathan asked.

"Charles had told me I could, but he changed his mind. That's what the argument was about the other night," Kristin said, wincing a bit at the memory of it, "The girls are starting to suspect something's amiss. They know something is not right between their father and I. He spends less and less time with them. When he is home, he's working. He doesn't spend any time with them. What am I going to do?" Kristin began crying again.

"Sshhh," Nathan consoled softly, "Please don't cry."

Nathan's heart ached so much for this woman, and he wanted to help her so badly. Ever since he met her, Nathan felt a connection to Kristin. From the moment he found out about her situation, he wanted to help her. Nathan Bridger was the type of man who genuinely cared about other people, even complete strangers. As he held this woman in his arms, Nathan began to realize how much he was beginning to care about her.

Kristin felt so at ease with Nathan. It was as though she could tell this man anything. It had been so long since she'd had the true love and support of another man, she was reveling in the warmth and comfort of his arms. But a sudden thought came to her, and she pushed him away. She was beginning to fall in love with him. She silently chastised herself. How could she do this? How could she allow herself to steal another woman's husband? And, did Nathan feel the same way about her? She didn't want to find out because she was not sure she was strong enough to resist.

"You should probably go," Kristin told him. She started to walk out of the room.

Although Nathan wanted to help her, he was beginning to get frustrated with the fact that she kept pushing him away mentally. Why couldn't she just let him help her. "Wait just a minute!", Nathan said, his frustration evident in his voice, "Why do you keep doing that?", he asked a bit more gently as Kristin turned back to face him.

"Doing what?" Kristin asked.

"You keep pushing me away. Are you afraid of me?" Nathan wondered.

"N-no. I mean, yes. I mean, I don't know," Kristin stammered.

Nathan just stared at her with a confused look on his face.

Kristin continued, "I cannot have an affair with you, Nathan Bridger."

Nathan was flabbergasted. "What? Do you think that's why I am being kind to you-because I want to sleep with _you_?"

Kristin nodded, looking down not wanting to meet his eyes.

"Do you think that's all you have to offer?" Nathan asked.

Kristin was silent.

Nathan took her hand and led her back to the couch. "Kristin," he said, "I am not going to lie to you. I have begun to care about you very much, but I just want to be your friend. Although you are a very attractive woman, I love my wife. Just because I am married does not mean that we can't be friends. I know it may be difficult for you to trust someone else, let alone another man, because of what has happened to you, but I am asking you to please trust me. I will help you if you let me."

Kristin paused a bit, "I-I hope you aren't angry with me for the mistake," she said.

Nathan sighed, realizing that Kristin was going to need some convincing. She really had no confidence, and although he knew it wouldn't happen overnight, he wanted to restore it. He stood up and took her hand, urging her to follow him. They walked across the room to a mirror on the wall. Nathan pointed. "Look into the mirror," Nathan said, "and tell me what you see."

Kristin looked into the mirror. She looked a fright, eyes puffy and red from crying and hair a little mussed. She thought for a moment, unable to come up with anything. Finally she said, "I see me?" wondering if that was the answer Nathan wanted.

Nathan knew Kristin did not see herself as much, and he knew she couldn't see what he saw. Nathan walked up behind her. "Do you know what I see?" he asked.

Kristin shook her head. Nathan continued, "I see a beautiful woman, a wonderful mother, and a person whose husband doesn't deserve her. I see a person who doesn't know how wonderful she is."

Kristin looked doubtful.

Nathan turned her around so that she was facing him. "What is it going to take for _you_ to see your spark?" he asked, poking her gently in the chest.

Kristin wasn't used to this kind of attention, and she didn't know what to do. "I don't know what to say; it's been so long since..."

Nathan pulled her into a hug once again. "It's OK; I know. You don't have to explain. I am just trying to show you that you need to remember that_ you _are a person, not a prize. Charles may not see you that way anymore, but others do. You need to realize that you deserve to be happy." He kissed her gently on the forehead.

"If Charles finds out, Nathan, he won't fund your project," Kristin said, pulling back to look at him.

Nathan sighed, ushering Kristin back to the couch. Again, he was going to have to convince Kristin that she was more important than some damned submarine. "I don't care about that right now. I'm sure I can find others to help fund it rather than some dirty politician who cheats on his wife and beats her."

"Nathan, you don't know Charles. If he doesn't get what he wants, he might do something rash. His career is very important to him, and if anyone or anything gets in his way, he will use force," Kristin said. Nathan remembered Charles' quip about having him killed if anything went wrong. Was Kristin alluding that Charles may be serious?

"What are you saying, Kristin?"

"I'm saying that until we come up with a plan, you need to act as if you do not suspect anything. Just do what you have to do; don't worry about me," Kristin said.

"It's a little too late for that," Nathan stated, "I won't stop worrying."

"Nathan, please," Kristin pleaded gently, "the gala needs to go as planned, at least for now; I'll be alright until then."

Nathan was thoughtful for a moment. It was against his better judgement, but he reluctantly agreed. He had no choice but to trust Kristin. She obviously knew Charles better than he and knew what he was capable of doing. He certainly did not need any bodily injury or worse. He had to think of Carol; plus, he was almost sure that Kristin would blame herself if something happened to him because he was trying to protect her.

"Fine, as long as we can communicate somehow until then. I need to know your safe."

Kristin nodded, "We can E-mail."

Kristin wrote her E-mail address down on a piece of paper and handed it to Nathan. For a short time, both Nathan and Kristin were silent, both lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Nathan broke the silence.

"Kristin?" he asked.

"Yes?"

"Would you let me tell Carol about this situation? I can guarantee she is going to want to help just as much as I do. She is a very caring woman. If you let me share your story, we'll help you leave Charles. We have enough money that we can give you to help you get started," Nathan proposed.

Kristin shook her head, "Nathan, I can't take money from you."

"Kristin, please. You want to get out of this situation, don't you?" Nathan pleaded.

She nodded.

"Then, just let us help you. You can get a new life for you and the girls."

Kristin thought for a moment. "Alright," she agreed, "but it's just a loan. I will pay it back as soon as I get back on my feet."

"Fine," Nathan agreed, "but I'm not worried about that, and I doubt Carol will be either."

"Nathan, it's the least I can do. You certainly didn't have to take any interest in me and decide to want to help me. No one else has," Kristin said.

"Well, it's about time someone does," Nathan said as he hugged Kristin again.

Kristin's heart leapt for joy. She had never expected this angel to come into her life. She said a silent prayer of thanks as happy tears came to her eyes.

Nathan heard her light sniffles. "Kristin?" he asked "are you crying, Honey?"

Kristin nodded as she pulled away to look at him, "But, they're happy tears, Nathan, really," Kristin reassured him.

Nathan nodded in understanding and put his arm around her. Suddenly, a thought came to Nathan. How late was it? He looked at his watch.

"Oh my gosh!" Nathan declared. "Do you know what time it is?"

Kristin shook her head.

"Two A.M. Carol's probably worried sick," Nathan said. "Are you going to be OK if I leave?"

Kristin nodded, "Charles won't be home tonight; he's too busy at 'the office'. And, I feel much better now. I don't know how to thank you, Nathan."

"Just take care of yourself, and that will be thanks enough," Nathan told her as they walked to the front door.

Kristin pulled Nathan into a hug, kissed him gently on the cheek, and whispered a very sincere, "Thank you."

"You're more than welcome. Good night, Kristin," Nathan said as he opened the door.

"Goodnight," Kristin said as she closed the door behind him but watched him as he walked to his car through the window on the screen door.

Nathan sensed her and turned to look back at her. Kristin waved and closed the storm door and locked it.

Nathan got into his car and drove home. Carol had been so tired due to her cold that she hadn't even known Nathan had been out so late. He climbed into bed next to her with thoughts of Kristin; he was beginning to realize how much he truly cared for her.

Kristin walked upstairs to go to bed, and for the first time in a long time, fell into a blissful sleep with thoughts of Nathan.


	7. I'll Take Care of You

**Chapter 7**

**2009**

The next morning, Carol was feeling better. Nathan told Carol all about Kristin and her situation. Carol wept with tears of sympathy for Kristin and her children while Nathan held her. After regaining her composure, Carol agreed to helping Kristin in any way possible.

"I thought you'd feel that way," Nathan said with a smile.

"I just want that monster out of their lives," Carol stated with sincerity.

But, Nathan explained what Kristin had said about Charles. He told her that if the gala event was sabotaged in any way, that he might be in danger. In addition to that, he explained that Kristin would blame herself for it.

Carol nodded with understanding. The gala was only a few weeks away. Although she did not like the thought of Kristin staying in the situation, Nathan had come up with an interesting plan.

"Charles Nelson thrives on publicity; the press loves a great story. Why not give them what they want?" Nathan said; Carol looked a little confused, so Nathan continued, "I am sure there will be a lot of beautiful women at the gala, and I am certain Charles will want to be sampling the wares, so to speak. We'll just have to be sure the press is there to see it," Nathan explained.

"Nathan, that's a brilliant idea. A scandal would give Kristin an opportunity to divorce him, and he couldn't do a thing about it!" Carol said.

"Exactly," Nathan said, "I just need to make a few phone calls. Charles Nelson is not the only one who has connections with the press."

"Do you think Kristin would mind if I called her?" Carol asked Nathan, "I want to tell her how sorry I am about all this and tell her that I want to be a friend to her and help her."

Nathan hugged Carol, "I am so glad you want to help her," He pulled back to look at her, "but Kristin only gave me her E-mail address. I think she is worried about Charles suspecting anything if we called her."

"Alright, I'll E-mail her then," Carol decided.

"Tell her I'll send her an E-mail later, too. I need to tell her the plan. I only just thought about it this morning," Nathan told her.

"I will," Carol told him, as she headed to the computer. She wrote:

_Dear Kristin,_

_Nathan told me that you knew he was going to tell me about what you have been going through. Honey, I want you to know how sincerely sorry I am about all of this. Please feel that you can confide in me; I want nothing more than to be your friend. I will help you in any way I can; you can E-mail me or call me any time, day or night. In case you don't know it, our phone number is 555-3158. Nathan and I want to make sure you and your girls are safe. Please know you can tell me anything, and I will be there for you._

_Please write soon so we know you are OK._

_Your friend,_

_Carol_

_P.S. Nathan wants me to tell you he will be E-mailing you later as well; he has something important to tell you._

Carol clicked the 'tab' with the computer cursor and proceeded to check the rest of her E-mails. After that, she anxiously stared at the screen hoping for a prompt reply from Kristin. Unfortunately, the reply did not come as soon as she wanted. Carol closed out her E-mail and shut the computer down. She decided she would go see how Nathan was coming along; she walked to the doorway of his study. She could hear he was still on the phone, so she waited patiently. After a few minutes, he hung up the phone.

"Well?" she asked.

"I've called in a few favors, and I have some reporters coming who will be looking for all the right 'signs'," Nathan said.

"Great. Now we just have to wait.", Carol said, but Nathan realized she did not sound as cheery as normal.

"That's the hard part, isn't it?" Nathan asked.

Carol nodded. "I didn't expect to like Kristin so much, and now that I know what's going on with her, I don't like the thought of it. I want her safe."

"I know," Nathan sighed, "But, I promised Kristin. If anything goes amiss, who knows what Charles might do? We cannot risk it. We know he'll take it out on Kristin."

Carol knew he was right. "I cannot say I won't be worrying. I'm worried now because she hasn't E-mailed me back yet."

"Sweetie, give her a chance," Nathan told her, "She is probably just busy. We'll hear from her when she gets a chance; I'm sure of it," Nathan said reassuringly. But, truthfully, Nathan was worried too, but he had to stay positive for Carol.

Carol nodded, "You're right. I suppose it is just so easy to think the worst."

"Right," Nathan nodded. He was pleased he had calmed Carol's fears. Now he just had to calm his own. Carol went to do some housework, so Nathan sat down at his laptop to write Kristin an E-mail.

_Dear Kristin, _

_How are you this morning, Sweetheart? I hope you are well and are safe. I know that Carol E-mailed you. I told you that she would want to help you. She wants so badly to be a friend to you. Are the girls alright? I really enjoyed meeting them and told Carol how wonderful they are. She cannot wait to meet them either. _

_I came up with a plan for the gala that will help you get away from Charles. I have some friends in the news business as well and have invited them. I have informed them of Charles' antics with the opposite sex, and they are going to want that story. Then, Charles would have to agree to let you divorce him if his affairs were out in the open. Isn't that a wonderful plan? _

_Carol and I are a little worried now since we haven't heard from you yet. Please write to us as soon as possible. We want to know you are OK. _

_Love,_

_Nathan_

Nathan clicked the 'send' tab, and double checked his E-mail for any new messages. There were none. He shut down the computer, and stood to stare out the window. What time was it? Almost noon. Logically, he knew Kristin did not sit in front of the computer all day, so she may just may not have checked her E-mail yet. But at the same time, Nathan couldn't squish the feeling that something was terribly wrong. After some mental shadowboxing, he made up his mind.

"Carol," he called to her, "I'm going for a drive."

"OK," Carol said.

Nathan walked out the door to his car. He wanted to take a drive by Kristin's house to check up on her. He had to be sure she was alright because something was telling him she wasn't.

As usual, Nathan Bridger could not have been more right. He had an empathic sixth sense, and he always knew when something was amiss. Kristin's morning had not been as pleasant as Nathan's. After taking the girls to school, Kristin was surprised when she returned home to find Charles. He was rarely ever home during the day, especially not on a Friday morning.

"Charles!" Kristin said, surprised. "What are you doing home?"

"Well, _Honey_," he said bitterly, "I have something to talk to you about."

Kristin had an uneasy feeling but tried to remain cool. "Oh? What about?" she asked.

He angrily grabbed her shoulders and violently shook her. "Why don't you tell me what a lying, cheating bitch you are! I know that Bridger stayed here for hours last night! I have spies all over this city!" Charles screamed.

"Charles, please, don't do this. You don't understand," Kristin pleaded with him to stop.

"I'll tell you what I understand. The minute I take you out you throw yourself at the first man who will give you a little bit of attention like some bitch in heat!"

And with these words, Charles slapped and punched Kristin over and over again. Kristin tried to resist, tried to block his blows, but Charles was too strong. Time seemed to slow for her. After what could have either been a few minutes or an hour, everything went black.

When Nathan pulled his car up in front of Kristin's house, he mentally chastised himself at first. Everything seemed fine, but he wanted to be sure. Therefore, he got out of his car and walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell. He waited patiently, but no one came to the door. He knew there was someone home because there was a car parked in the driveway. He began to knock. Still no answer.

"Kristin!" he called as he knocked louder still. Still no answer came. Finally, out of desperation, Nathan tried the doorknob and found it was not locked. He opened the door and called for Kristin once again. He walked into the hallway and into the living room, and Nathan finally saw a beaten and bloody Kristin lying in a heap on the floor.

"Oh my God!" Nathan cried, "Kristin, can you hear me?" he said as he knelt down beside her. Nathan's heart sank as he got a closer look at her. She was so covered in blood that he could not determine if she was even alive. He did not want to move her too much, but he place a hand on her shoulder and gently shook her, silently pleading with her to awaken.

After a few brief moments, Nathan realized that his efforts to awaken Kristin were not helping. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone and, with shaking hands, dialed 9-1-1.


	8. Life Support

**Chapter 8**

**2009**

Nathan gave the information to the dispatcher. A few brief moments later, Kristin's house was filled with paramedics and police officers. After Nathan was sure Kristin would be getting the medical attention he needed, he stepped onto the front porch so that he could call Carol to tell her what happened. However, he was interrupted.

"Excuse me, Sir?" asked a gentleman in a suit. "I am Lieutenant Sam Duncan, Orange County PD," he said as he pulled his wallet out of his shirt to show Nathan his badge. "And this is my partner, Joe Watson." He motioned towards another man nearby; he nodded towards Nathan as his name was mentioned, and showed his badge as well.

"We were wondering if we could ask you a few questions?" said Lieutenant Duncan.

"What is all this about, Officers?" Nathan asked.

"There's nothing to be alarmed about, Sir. It is just that there is an investigation underway, and since you were the last known person with Mrs. Nelson, we need to get some information." He proceeded to read Nathan his rights.

Nathan knew where this was going. Although it was not stated, Nathan knew that he was a suspect, at least until Kristin could dispute the matter.

"You don't think _I_ did this to her, do you?" Nathan asked.

"Right now, we are just trying to get some facts; we are not naming suspects yet. There's nothing to be alarmed about," Lieutenant Duncan stated, "Just tell us what you know; what is your name?"

"Nathan Bridger," he replied, sighing with frustration, "And my wife and I had been trying to get a hold of Kristin earlier today, but we could. not I was worried, so I decided to drive over here to check on her. When I got here, I knew she was home because of the car in the driveway. I tried ringing the doorbell and knocking on the door and calling her name, but I received no answer. By chance, I tried the doorknob and found that it was not locked. I went inside and found Kristin beaten and bloody on the floor, so I immediately called 9-1-1."

"And how do you know the victim?" asked Watson.

Nathan did not like Kristin being referred to as 'the victim'; he felt it made her sound as though she was no longer alive. "We're friends," Nathan said.

"How long have you known her?" asked Duncan.

"About a month," Nathan told them.

There was a light chuckle from Duncan as he said, "So you're telling us that you know this woman, who by the way, is married, for about a month, and you already are worried enough about her that you need to go to her house to check on her?"

Nathan was beginning to get angry, and this became evident in the tone of his voice, "Yes, that is what I _am _telling you. I take my friendships very seriously, and what difference does it make if she's married or not?"

"Sir, were you having an affair with the victim?" Duncan asked.

"No, I was not! You know, instead of asking me what happened to her, why don't you ask the _bastard_ she's married to?" Nathan yelled.

"You think her husband did this to her? Why do you say that?" Watson inquired.

"She told me she was afraid of him, that he beats her all the time," Nathan said, not wanting to betray Kristin's trust by telling her secret, but believing that she would make an exception if she was able to speak. "She told me that there had been police reports made in the past." Nathan couldn't tell if they believed him or not.

"We'll be looking into that, Sir. We are actually new to the precinct; a lot of officers have been suspended due to, well, let's just say unfair practices," Duncan explained.

"Where were you this morning?" Watson broke in.

"I already told you, I was at home with my wife, and I am certain she will verify that," Nathan said, becoming frustrated again.

"Oh, we will be speaking with her as well, Sir," Duncan explained.

"Unfortunately, until we can speak with Mrs. Nelson to tell us who did this to her, you are a suspect right now. Please don't leave the city," Watson said.

"Can I call my wife?" Nathan asked.

Duncan laughed slightly, "Of course, Sir. You are free to go about your daily life, for now. But, if you are truly innocent and want to stay that way, we will need your full cooperation. Here's my card; you call me if you remember anything else. We're going to need a phone number where you can be reached in case we need to speak with you again. You be where we tell you to be and when. Understand? As long as you agree to cooperate with our investigation, everything should be fine."

Nathan nodded and told them his phone number.

"Good day, Sir," Watson nodded as he and Duncan turned to leave.

Nathan proceeded to call Carol to tell her what had happened.

A short time later, the officers arrived at Nathan's house to speak with Carol. She verified Nathan's story, so they thanked her and were on their way.

Hours later, consciousness faded in and out for Kristin, as she lay in a hospital bed. Although the room was dimly lit, the light stung her eyes. She felt as though she'd been hit by a bus. "How did I get here?" she wondered. She tried to remember, but her head ached so much that she could not recall at the moment. She struggled to stay awake, but she was too exhausted. She closed her eyes and fell back to sleep.

Nathan and Carol sat in the waiting room of the hospital. Since Kristin was not awake and since he and Carol were not family, they were told very little about Kristin's condition. All they knew was that she was alive and safe, for the time being. They waited silently, both lost in their own thoughts and prayers. Suddenly, Senator Nelson rushed into the waiting room, causing a dramatic commotion.

"I need to see my wife, please!" he cried. "Is she alright? Oh my God! How did this happen?"

"Sir, we're going to need you to calm down," said the receptionist, "Your wife is going to be fine, but getting hysterical is not going to help her heal. Now please have a seat while I inform the doctor that you are here."

Charles took a seat on the opposite side of the waiting room from Nathan and Carol; he did not even look at them. However, he was only waiting a few moments when Officers Duncan and Watson came into the room.

"Senator Nelson?" Duncan asked, "We need to ask you some questions about your wife's attack." Duncan proceeded to introduce himself and Watson as they had done when meeting Nathan, showing their badges.

Senator Nelson had a confused look on his face, "Excuse me, Officers, but I think there's some kind of mistake. What happened to Lieutenant Brooks?"

"Sir, and although we do not have to inform you of this, Lieutenant Brooks is no longer on the force. He and many other officers have been suspended for not upholding the law," Duncan stated, and he told Charles his rights so that they could begin questioning him.

"Now, would you please tell us your whereabouts this morning?" Watson broke in.

"Officers, officers," Charles said holding up his hands, "I'm a US Senator. Is this really necessary?"

"Frankly, Sir, I don't care if you're the goddamned Queen of England; we have an investigation to run here to find out what happened to your wife, and we are going to do that. Now, if you want to keep beating around the bush, we will be happy to take you downtown. Perhaps that will persuade you to tell us what you know," Duncan told him, not liking the way the Senator was trying to avoid their questions. One would think he would be showing more concern as to who did this to his wife.

Charles reluctantly agreed, realizing he was not going to be able to cheat his way out of his troubles this time.

"No, that won't be necessary. I was at the office this morning," he said.

"Senator, we've spoken with the medical examiners, and they've determined, by the extent of your wife's injuries and the amount of swelling that was present at the time she was discovered, that she was attacked somewhere between 9:00 and 11:00 A.M. Were you at your office all morning?" Watson asked.

"Officers, I'm a very busy man," Charles said.

"Stop avoiding the questions, Senator!" Duncan said, "We're not citizens that you need to impress to get votes."

Watson began again, "What time did you leave your home to go to your office, Senator."

"I left at 8:00 A.M," he lied, "and I was at work until I got a call from the hospital that my wife had been attacked. I have no idea who did this to her or what happened when I was not home. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to talk to my wife's doctor," Charles turned to walk away.

Duncan looked around the room. "Excuse me, Senator, but I don't see a doctor around right now. I think you can keep talking because we aren't through with you yet. You need to give us your cooperation, Senator, because you are a suspect in this investigation, and this will not look good if you go on trial."

"Look, Officers," Charles turned back to them, "I've already told you what I know. I was at my office all morning, and I have several witnesses who will verify that. Until you have evidence that I did this, I believe I am a free man. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to find out what is going on with my wife because I am going to have to leave soon to pick my children up from school, since their mother is unable to do so."

"Fine, Senator. But, I just want to ask you one more question," Duncan told him.

"Yes?" Charles asked, a bit frustrated.

"What size shirt do you wear?"

"What?" Charles asked confused.

Duncan pulled a bloodied shirt from his briefcase. "This was found in the laundry room of your home, Senator. Do you want to tell me why it looks like this."

"Did you have a search warrant?" Charles asked.

"Senator, I assure you that we had all the necessary permits that were needed. But, again, you are avoiding the question," Watson stated.

"How do you even know it's my shirt?" Charles asked.

"Well, Sir, would your children or your wife happen to wear a men's extra large?" Duncan challenged.

Charles was silent for a moment. Then, he said, "I would rather not answer anymore questions without my attorney."

"Alright, Senator, but you be sure to tell your attorney to contact us within the next twenty-four hours. Here's my card," Duncan said.

With that, Duncan and Watson left the room, and Charles walked up to the reception desk to find out what was keeping the doctor.

A short time later, a middle-aged man in a white lab coat stepped out into the waiting room. "Senator Nelson?"

"Yes?" Charles stood to greet him.

"I'm Doctor Allen. Could you please come with me?" the man said. Charles followed him through a set of doors leading to a hallway of doors to patients' rooms. As they walked, the doctor turned back to Charles. "Considering your wife's condition, most of her injuries are not terribly serious."

He proceeded to explain that Kristin had three broken ribs and a broken wrist. In addition to that, she had a severe concussion. And of course, she was horribly bruised, but she would heal. "Your wife's actually very lucky, Senator. It could have been a lot worse."

"I understand," Charles said as they came to a stop in front of one of the rooms.

"Before we go in, Sir, I want to warn you, your wife has a lot of bruises on her body. It may be a bit of a shock to you. But, I assure you she will be fine. She probably won't be terribly coherent at all today, but should be tomorrow," Doctor Allen stated.

"I understand, Doctor. I am just so happy that she's alive. I love her so much." Charles was being dramatic once again for effect.

Doctor Allen nodded with understanding, and he and Charles entered Kristin's hospital room.

The doctor was not exaggerating Kristin's condition; she looked like hell. Charles pretended to be upset.

"Would you like a few moments alone with her?" the doctor asked sympathetically.

Charles held his head in his hands and nodded.

The doctor left Charles alone with Kristin; Charles sat down in the chair next to her bed and wondered how he was going to get himself out of this mess he had created.

A short time later, Charles left the room because he had to get the girls from school. He stopped at the reception desk to explain what was going on and explain that he would return later. With that, he left the hospital.

Nathan, who was still waiting with Carol, walked up to the reception desk asking if he could have an update on Kristin's condition.

"Mr. Nelson gave me a list of people to whom I could give out information. Mr. Bridger, was it?" asked the receptionist.

Nathan nodded.

The receptionist looked down at a piece of paper with a list of names on it. "I'm sorry, Sir. There is no Mr. Bridger on this list."

Nathan had expected this. He nodded. Until Kristin was able to say she wanted to see him and Carol, he could do nothing but wait. He helplessly went back to sit down next to Carol and held her hand as they exchanged worried glances with each other, both wanting desperately to see Kristin.

Cynthia and Jasmine Nelson walked outside of their school and looked for their mother's car; when Cynthia did not see it, she told her sister, "I guess Mom's running a little late." Then, Cynthia heard her father's voice calling her name.

Cynthia looked up and saw him standing outside his car waving for her.

Cynthia and Jasmine walked towards him.

"Daddy, what are you doing here?" Cynthia asked with surprise. "Where's Mom?"

Charles opened the back door and ushered the girls to sit down.

As Charles got into the front seat, he turned to look at them. "Girls, I have some bad news. Mom's had a little accident."

"What kind of accident?" Cynthia asked in alarm. "Is she alright?"

"Someone attacked your mother, and she's in the hospital. She's going to be OK, but she has to stay there until she gets better."

"Why would someone attack, Mom?" Cynthia asked shrilly, becoming increasingly more worried.

Charles had already planned what he would say. "The police say that there was a burglar in the house when Mom returned home from taking you to school. When he saw your mother, he hurt her."

"Can we see her?" Cynthia asked.

"I'm afraid that's not possible right now. Mom needs rest right now, and she wouldn't even know you were there. I'm going to drop you and your sister off at home; Mrs. King will stay with you until I get home," Charles said, getting frustrated with all the questions.

Jasmine started crying. "I want Mommy!"

Charles became angry. "Stop your damn whining! I just told you why you can't see Mommy right now. Now you need to deal with it!"

Cynthia instinctively placed a protective arm around her younger sister and quietly whispered to her to quiet her down. The rest of the ride home was silent.

Charles pulled his car up in front of the house. "Mrs. King should be in the house waiting for you," he told the girls, not even bothering to get out of the vehicle.

Cynthia helped Jasmine out of the car, and they both walked into their house. Mrs. King was in the living room knitting. Mrs. King was a kindly old woman who had babysat the girls many times before. She lived just up the street. Although she was in her seventies, the girls enjoyed her. She liked to tell the girls stories and help them bake cookies. However, neither Cynthia nor Jasmine were interested in such activities at the moment.

"Hello, Mrs. King," Cynthia said, trying to mask her sadness.

"Oh, hello, Dear," Mrs. King greeted her. "Would you two girls like to learn how to knit?"

"No thank you.", Cynthia said. Jasmine shook her head. "We both have a lot of homework. I told Jasmine I'd help her with hers," Cynthia said.

"Oh, alright," said Mrs. King.

Cynthia and Jasmine sadly went upstairs. They both held each other and cried, missing their mother terribly and, although no one had told them for sure, knowing who had really put her in the hospital.


	9. God Bless the Broken Road

**Chapter 9**

**2009**

Back at the hospital, Nathan was getting restless. He told Carol he was going for a walk. He got into the elevator and pushed the button for the lobby. When the elevator came to a stop, he entered the lobby and almost bumped into Charles, who was going to enter the elevator to go back up to Kristin's room. Nathan blocked him.

"Charles, can I speak with you?" Nathan asked as nicely as he could, trying not to let his anger show.

"Look, Nathan, I have to get back to Kristin. Now, if you'll excuse me," Charles said.

"I think you can spare a few minutes, can't you?"

Charles responded angrily, "Nathan, I am not sure what kind of obsession you have with my wife, but I am putting an end to it. Does your wife know you're cheating on her?"

"Charles, you are horribly mistaken-" Nathan began, but Charles cut him off.

"Well, all I know is I contacted you to help you fund your submarine. And, from the moment we met, you were all over my wife. I know you were there hours after I left our meeting because I had an emergency at my office the other night!"

"Oh, please!" Nathan's anger rose, "Everybody knows what your emergency was! Tell me, how many 'emergencies have you had? The problem is that you are the unfaithful one, but you have to take it out on Kristin! You are such a coward! You have to beat-up a woman to feel good about yourself! Does it make you feel like a man, knowing that you can humiliate and intimidate a woman? I hope you're proud of yourself! I hope you rot in hell! And, you can forgot about funding my submarine! I don't need you!"

And with that, Charles raised his fist and punched Nathan in the face, causing Nathan to black out for a short time. When Nathan awoke, he was surrounded by Carol and some nurses. He heard familiar voices behind him, but could not see what was going on.

"Mr. Bridger, I'm glad you could join us again," Nathan saw Lieutenant Duncan appear. "I want you to know that we have Charles Nelson in custody for your assault. I trust you'll want to press charges."

Nathan nodded. He heard Charles yell, "What about my children? Who is going to take care of them?"

"Do you have other family or friends who can take care of them?" asked Watson.

"They are with a family friend now. I'm going to have to call her," Charles said.

And with that, Watson took Charles outside while Duncan lingered behind.

"Mr. Bridger," said one of the nurses handing him a bag of ice, "please keep this on your nose. We've managed to stop the bleeding, but I do believe your nose is broken. I have a doctor on his way."

Nathan groggily replied, "It isn't the first time it's been broken."

"We'll speak with you later, Mr. Bridger. Sorry about your nose," Duncan told him, and he walked outside to join Watson.

Hours later, Nathan and Carol arrived home. Nathan had been examined at the hospital, and, indeed, his nose was broken. Then, they had to stop at the police station to give a report. He and Carol were exhausted; it had been one of those days from hell. Nathan had hoped that tomorrow would be better. Hopefully, Kristin would be awake, and he could talk with her. Looking forward to that, he fell asleep.

Kristin squinted at the early morning light streaming into her room. A nurse was changing an IV bag and checking Kristin's vital signs when she noticed Kristin was awake.

"Kristin?" she replied sweetly, "My name's Amy. I am one of the nurses who has been taking care of you. Do you know what day it is?"

Kristin did some mental deduction, and guessed, "Saturday?"

"Yes, good for you! Do you remember what happened to you?"

Kristin was silent for a moment as she tried to remember.

Amy placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "It's alright if you don't. You were brutally attacked in your own home. You have a few broken ribs and a broken wrist. And, you have a concussion."

"That would explain why I feel as though someone is using my head as a bongo drum," Kristin stated.

Amy laughed a little, "Yes, you are going to have to take it easy while you are here. After I am finished checking your vitals, I will inform the doctor that you are awake and coherent."

After Amy was finished, she asked, "Do you need any pain medication?"

Kristin tried to sit up a little, but pain coursed through her body. She winced and nodded.

"Remember," Amy said as she helped Kristin lie back, "you have to take it easy. I'll help you raise the bed slightly, but we don't want you up and about right away." Then, she injected a vial of medication into Kristin's IV tube.

Kristin nodded, accepting defeat. She lay back and closed her eyes, still trying to remember what had happened. She remembered taking the girls to school and returning home. And, she remembered arguing with Charles, but she couldn't remember anything else due to her pounding head.

A short while later, Doctor Allen came in the room.

"Kristin, I'm Doctor Allen," he greeted her.

Forgetting her injuries for a moment, Kristin tried to sit up.

"Whoa, easy, easy," Doctor Allen replied. "You have to take things slowly until you heal." He helped Kristin into a comfortable position. "Now, if you can manage that, you should be able to go home next week. If you try to do too much too fast, you might be here longer." Then, he began an examination, checking Kristin's eyes with a penlight to be sure her concussion was healing. He checked various cuts and bruises, and he examined her broken wrist. Then, he said, "Well, it seems you are healing nicely. I'll leave you in the capable hands of the nursing staff. I'll stop by and check on you tomorrow."

"Thank you, Doctor," Kristin replied. Doctor Allen nodded and left the room. Kristin sighed. She wished she could remember something. She lie back again and closed her eyes. Soon, she was asleep again.

After waking up, Nathan and Carol arrived at the hospital, hoping to see Kristin. Because she was resting, they were still not allowed to see her.

"As soon as she wakes up, I'll tell her you're here," the receptionist said, "Then, if she wants to see you, you can."

Nathan nodded. He knew Kristin would not refuse to see them.

So, again, Nathan and Kristin sat down in the waiting room.

Kristin woke up a short time later; Amy had to check her vitals on regular intervals, so it made sleeping difficult. Kristin decided that she ought to try to join the rest of the world, mentally at least.

"Do you think you're up for some visitors?" Amy asked her. "I understand there are some of your friends who are very eager to see you, but we need your permission."

Kristin instantly knew who wanted to see her. Kristin nodded, "I think I am feeling up to it."

Amy smiled, "I'll let them know they can come back then."

After Amy finished her poking and prodding, she left the room. A short time later, there was a light knock on the door frame as Nathan entered the room. He was carrying a bouquet of flowers for Kristin.

"Hi, Sweetie," Nathan said quietly, "How are you feeling?"

Kristin tried to sit up again, forgetting her injuries, and winced in pain.

"Oh," she groaned, "I need to remember to stop doing that!"

"Here, let me help you adjust a little," Nathan offered. He gingerly helped Kristin sit up so that she was comfortable. "Better?"

Kristin nodded. "Other than the my head pounding and feeling like I've been to hell and back, I'm fine." Until then, Kristin had not really looked at Nathan, but then she noticed the blackened eyes and his swollen nose.

"My God, Nathan! What happened to you?" she asked.

"It's a long story," Nathan said.

"It's not like I am going anywhere any time soon. Where's Carol?"

"She was worried you might feel awkward with her being that she had not been able to speak with you as a friend yet. She wanted to give you some time."

Kristin nodded with understanding. "I have to admit I am still embarrassed."

"She told me to come and get her when you felt comfortable," Nathan explained.

"I'd like to just talk with you for a bit, if you don't mind," Kristin said.

"Not at all," Nathan held her hand, and he proceeded to tell her about his altercation with Charles and how he had been arrested.

"Kristin?" Nathan asked, "You do realize that police are going to question you about what happened yesterday, right?"

"That's going to be a problem since I can't remember much about yesterday," Kristin said, "I've tried, but it's a blur."

"You don't remember anything?" Nathan asked her.

"I remember taking the girls to school-" then suddenly a thought came to Kristin with the mention of the girls, "Oh my God! Where are the girls? If Charles is in jail, who's taking care of _them_?"

"Sshh," Nathan told her, "Calm down, calm down. I heard Charles say they were with a family friend for the time being."

Kristin relaxed again. Nathan urged, "So, what can you remember?"

Kristin began again, "I remember taking the girls to school, and when I got home, Charles was there. He was angry, and we started arguing. Then..." tears came to Kristin's eyes and she began crying softly.

Nathan sat down next to her and put a comforting arm around her shoulders.

"It's OK, you're safe now," Nathan soothed.

After a short time, Kristin was able to calm down.

"Kristin, you know Charles is responsible for this, don't you?" Nathan asked.

Kristin nodded. " I just don't understand how I ended up here? Did he call paramedics after he beat me or what?"

"Not exactly.", Nathan explained, "Actually, I am not sure what he did when he decided he was through with you, but I am the one who found you and called 9-1-1; Charles was nowhere to be found"

"You?" Kristin asked.

Nathan nodded. "I was worried about you. We'd been trying to get a hold of you yesterday, and we couldn't. I just could not shake the feeling that something had happened to you, so I stopped by your house to check. No one locked the door, so I went inside to look for you and found you."

Tears flowed down Kristin's cheeks. "Oh, Nathan, how can I ever thank you? If you hadn't gone with your gut feeling, then I..." her voice trailed off.

Nathan moved to hug her gently. "Sshhh.", he soothed, "I know, I know. I am just glad I was there when I was and that you're going to be OK. You don't have to thank me."

After a few moments, Nathan released her after he heard her sobs quiet. "Are you alright now?"

"Yes," Kristin nodded.

They sat in silence for a short time. Then, Kristin broke the silence, "Why don't you go and get Carol; I don't feel so ashamed now."

"And you've no reason to feel that way." Nathan rose and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I'll be back in a minute."

A brief time later, both Nathan and Carol entered the room.

"Hi, Kristin," Carol greeted her. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore," Kristin admitted, "But, glad to be alive."

Carol gave Kristin a gentle hug, "I am just so sorry about all of this; I want you to know that I want to be your friend, too."

Kristin nodded. "I would like that very much."

Nathan, Carol, and Kristin spoke for a while. Then, a nurse entered the room.

"Kristin? I'm Susan. I'll be taking over Amy's shift." She turned to Nathan and Carol. "Would you mind stepping into the waiting room while I examine her?"

"Not at all," Nathan replied. "We'll see you in a bit," he told Kristin, and he and Carol stepped back into the waiting room.

Later that afternoon, Duncan and Watson arrived at the hospital. The hospital had informed them that Kristin had been coherent most of the day, and they had to continue their investigation. Kristin had been informed by Susan that they were on their way. Nathan and Carol had left for lunch but told her they would return later.

Kristin heard a knock at the door. "Come in," she said.

"Mrs. Nelson? We're Lieutenants Sam Duncan and Joe Watson." They showed their badges. "We need to ask you some questions about yesterdays incident," Duncan told her.

Kristin nodded, but explained, "I'll do my best, but I'm still having trouble remembering details. It's all a blur."

"It's alright, ma'am. Just tell us everything you can remember so we can punish the person responsible," Watson explained.

Kristin told them what she could remember and that Charles was the responsible one, which they already suspected.

"I can assure you that your husband will be brought to justice. You do want to press charges, don't you?" Duncan asked, aware of many situations similar to Kristin's and aware of how often women do _not_ press charges.

Kristin nodded. "Yes, Officers, I can assure you that I do."

Duncan and Watson were both pleased to hear this. "You'll have to testify in court once it goes to trial. I trust you have an attorney?" Watson explained.

"Not yet, but I'll do what I have to do," Kristin said.

"Here's my card; when you get out of here, give me a call. I'll help you find an attorney, if you need. If you don't, just call if you need anything," Duncan told her.

"Thank you," Kristin said.

"Get well soon, ma'am," Duncan said and he and Watson left.

Kristin decided she ought to try to call the girls. She picked up the phone receiver next to her bed and dialed. Mrs. King answered.

"Hello, Mrs. King," Kristin said, "How are the girls?"

"They're doing fine. Perfect angels, they are," Mrs. King said. She never said anything bad about them. "How are you, Mrs. Nelson. I hope the police catch the burglar who did this to you." Obviously, Charles had told her a different story, as he often did.

"I'm doing alright, but I wanted to know what Charles told you. Did he tell you how long he had be gone?"

"He said he had an unexpected business trip. He is supposed to return today; didn't he tell you?" Mrs. King asked.

"Oh, yes, he did," Kristin said. Mrs. King was the kind of woman who thought everyone was good. Kristin didn't want to alarm her in any way. "I just wanted to tell you that there had been a change of plans. Charles is going to be away longer than he thought. Are you able to stay with the children?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Nelson. I have plans to go visit my sister in Atlanta; I'll be leaving this evening. I told Mr. Nelson that," Mrs. King explained.

"Charles must have forgotten," Kristin said, "If you give me a little time, I'll send someone to pick the girls up. What time are you leaving?"

"I can stay with them until 4:00."

"Don't worry. I'll send a replacement," Kristin assured her. "Can I speak to the girls, please?"

"Yes, of course." Kristin could hear Mrs. King call them.

A few moments later, Cynthia said, "Hi, Mom."

"Hello, Sweetheart."

"Are you OK? Dad said there was an accident."

"I'm going to be alright, but I'm going to have to stay in the hospital for a while."

"But, Mrs. King has to leave tonight. Who's going to take care of us?"

"Don't worry. I am going to ask Mr. and Mrs. Bridger if they will be able to take care of you until I get home," Kristin told her; she was sure Nathan and Carol would agree.

"OK," Cynthia said, "When will we be able to see you?"

"I am sure Mr. and Mrs. Bridger will bring you here to see."

"I love you, Mom."

"I love you too; let me talk to your sister."

Cynthia handed the phone to Jasmine who had been jumping up and down the whole time with excitement to talk to her mother.

"Hi, Mommy."

"Hi, Baby. Have you been good for Mrs. King?"

"Yeah. When are you going to come home?"

"Well, I have to stay at the hospital for a while until I get better. You and Cynthia will have to stay with Mr. and Mrs. Bridger for a while."

"I miss you, Mommy."

"I miss you too, Sweetie. I'll see you soon, OK?"

"OK; I love you."

"I love you too."

And Kristin heard Jasmine hang up the phone.

As soon as Nathan and Carol returned to the hospital, Kristin asked them if they would take care of the girls. They happily agreed.


	10. It's All Coming Back to Me Now

Chapter 10

**2009**

So, Nathan and Carol left Kristin to rest so that they could relieve Mrs. King. The girls were very excited; they had liked Nathan from the moment they had met him and were almost certain they would like Carol as well. After introductions, Nathan and Carol helped the girls pack what they needed for the week. Soon, they were ready to leave. The girls wanted to stop at the hospital to see Kristin before dinner.

"I can't wait to see Mommy!" Jasmine said excitedly as she Nathan helped her into the back seat of his car.

"You have to remember she's not feeling well," Cynthia reminded her as she sat next to her, but she was just as excited as her sister although she did not want to show it.

"I know, but I still want to see her," Jasmine said.

Nathan and Carol loaded the girls' bags into the trunk of the car and got into the front seat. After a quiet ride, they arrived at the hospital.

Before they entered the door, Cynthia reminded her sister, "Now, remember, you have to be..."

"Quiet. I know. The hospital is full of sick people who need their rest. I remember from when grandpa was sick last year," Jasmine said.

"OK, good. I just wanted to be sure you knew," Cynthia told her.

Nathan and Carol helped the girls buy some flowers and balloons at the gift shop before getting on the elevator. After getting onto the elevator, Carol decided it was a good time to prepare the girls for their mother's appearance.

"Girls, I just want to tell you that your mom has some bruises on her face, so it may be a little hard for you to see," Carol said gently.

Cynthia nodded, "Yeah, we already know. Dad told us."

Nathan was a little surprised. "He did?"

Jasmine and Cynthia nodded.

"What else did he tell you?" Nathan asked.

But, before he could get an answer, the elevator came to a stop, and the girls were so excited that they did not pause. They wanted to get to Kristin's room as fast as possible; Nathan and Carol darted to keep up with them.

Soon, they were in Kristin's room, and although Kristin seemed happy to see her daughters, one could see how tired she looked. It was apparent that her body still had a lot of healing to do. However, Kristin could not rest until she explained to the girls what happened. They needed to be told the truth, and she had mentally prepared what she was going to say to them, although it would be difficult nonetheless.

"Could we have some time alone?" Kristin asked Nathan and Carol.

They nodded and left the room.

"Girls, I have some things to tell you that are not easy for me to say, but you need to know the truth.", Kristin started, her voice quavering a bit.

The girls exchanged worried glances as Kristin continued.

"Your father did not tell you the truth about what happened to me," Kristin paused to regain her composure a bit. She took a deep breath and forced herself to continue.

"Your father is a very angry man. When he gets very angry, he hurts me. When Mommy was attacked, Daddy was very angry with me. Daddy is the reason that I am here. He did this, and I am so sorry that you two are going through this now. I never wanted this. I never imagined this would happen," Kristin said with tears running down her cheeks.

Cynthia and Jasmine were crying as well. As they hugged their mother, Cynthia asked, "So, is Daddy in jail now?"

Kristin nodded.

"Will we ever see him again?" Jasmine asked.

Kristin wiped her eyes. "Do you want to see him again?"

Jasmine and Cynthia were silent, unsure of what to say.

"Girls, he is your father, and he does love you very much. He has to go to jail because he did some naughty things. If you want to see him, I am not going to be angry with you. We have some challenges ahead of us now. We are going to need some counseling for this. Your father will get counseling as well, I am sure. I am not sure if you will be allowed to see him right away. But after he gets some counseling for his anger, and you decide you would like to see him, you can. I will never stop you from that. I will not love you any less," Kristin explained to them.

"You mean you are going to forgive him?" Cynthia asked.

Kristin sighed, "I am going to try. I cannot spend my whole life being angry. I am going to divorce your father, but that does not mean I will hate him. I hate what he did, yes, but there was a time when he and I cared about each other very much. There will always be a special place in my heart for that time."

Cynthia and Jasmine hugged their mother again.

"I love you both very much," Kristin said.

"We love you too, Mom," Cynthia and Jasmine said.

They hugged silently for a few more minutes. Kristin finally released them. "So, do you think you will have fun staying with the Bridgers this week?" she asked.

Jasmine nodded, "Uncle Nathan says he is going to take use for pizza and ice cream tonight!"

"Uncle Nathan?" Kristin asked.

"Uh huh," Jasmine said.

"We decided that Uncle Nathan and Aunt Carol sounded better than Mr. and Mrs. Bridger," Cynthia explained, "You don't mind, do you?"

"Not if Uncle Nathan and Aunt Carol don't,"" Kristin smiled, "Speaking of them, can we ask them to come back in now?" Kristin asked.

The girls nodded, and Cynthia went to go get them. Soon, all three of them joined Kristin.

"Everything OK?" Nathan asked, noticing that Kristin's eyes were red from crying.

Kristin smiled reassuringly, "Yes, everything's fine."

Then, Kristin yawned, absolutely exhausted with the day's exertions.

"We should leave so you can get some rest," Carol told her.

Kristin was about to object but decided against it. She truly was tired, and sleep sounded wonderful. She nodded.

So, the girls gave hugs and kisses goodbye, and Carol and the girls left. Nathan lingered.

"We'll see you tomorrow, OK?" Nathan said as he gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek.

"Nathan, don't spoil them too much," Kristin said.

Nathan flashed Kristin a smile as he turned to leave. "Don't worry; I will."

Kristin was too tired to object. After her guests left, she was soon asleep.

Nathan, Carol, and the girls went out for pizza and ice cream as promised. After dinner, they went back to Nathan and Carol's house. Carol showed the girls to their rooms and helped them unpack. Nathan noticed the answering machine blinking and hit the 'play' button.

"Nathan, this is Bill. What the hell is going on? Call me back as soon as you get this; you've had your cell phone turned off."

Nathan swore under his breath. Through all of the chaos, he had forgotten about the Bill and the gala business. Of course, Bill would be wondering what was going on. He dialed Bill's phone number.

"Hello?" Nathan heard Bill's voice answer.

"Bill, it's Nathan."

"Nathan, what in God's name has been going on? Janet and I have been worried sick; we watched the news. They said Senator Nelson was arrested. What about the project?" Bill rambled on, obviously concerned.

"Bill, calm down." Nathan proceeded to tell him the events of the past couple of days.

"Wow, Nathan. I'm glad everything is alright now. So now what?"

"We help Kristin get better," Nathan said.

"No, that's not what I meant. I meant what about the funding for the submarine?"

"Oh..." Nathan paused. "I guess it wasn't meant to be right now. I still have some work to do on the plans. I certainly don't want to get mixed up with guys like Charles Nelson again."

"Nathan, I have been getting phone calls from Senators Martin and Crane. They still want to help you with the funding. I can assure you they are not like Charles Nelson," Bill explained.

Nathan wasn't sure what to say. He had not expected this. "Bill, I am not really prepared..."

"Nonsense, Nathan. I'll give you a month to get things in order. Then, we'll talk; this is your dream. You can't just throw it away."

Nathan conceded, "Alright, alright."

Bill laughed. "Take care, Nathan."

"You too, Bill. Bye."

Nathan hung up the phone and went to check on Carol and the girls. He was touched by what he saw. Carol and the girls lay sleeping on their bed, Carol in the middle and Jasmine and Cynthia on either side of her. Nathan just stood there looking at them. Although he had not expected to be taking care of Kristin's children, he was happy to do so. He felt a certain responsibility for them along with Kristin, and he was beginning to fall in love with them. Nathan loved children; he had always wanted a house full of them. However, after Carol gave birth to Robert, she could not have any more children due to the fact that a difficult birth caused damage to her uterus. Nathan decided he was going to do his best to give the girls a wonderful week. He had the sudden urge to spoil them, something their own father had failed to do.

The next morning, Nathan told the girls to get dressed. He was eager to start a day of fun with them.

"Are we going to see Mommy?" Jasmine asked.

"Yes, we will," Nathan told her, "but, first, I thought we'd stop at the toy store."

"Yippee!" Jasmine ran off to get ready.

As the girls went to get ready, Carol talked to Nathan privately. "I don't think Kristin wants us spoiling them."

"Yes, she mentioned that," Nathan said.

"And what do you call bringing them to the toy store?" Carol asked, "Isn't that a bit of spoiling?"

"A toy or two isn't going to matter much." Then Nathan got serious, "It's just that they've been through so much. I want to try to make up for that, give them a life they haven't known before," Nathan explained.

Carol nodded with understanding. "Just don't go overboard."

Nathan smiled. "I'll try."

A few hours later, Nathan, Carol, and the girls arrived at the hospital. Kristin was well-rested, so she was glad to see everyone.

"Mommy!" Jasmine exclaimed when they entered Kristin's room as she ran to hug her mother, "Uncle Nathan bought me some new Barbie dolls!"

"And he bought me a new mp3 player," Cynthia added.

"Oh did he?" Kristin raised an eyebrow at Nathan.

Nathan looked at her sheepishly. "I thought I told you_ not _to spoil them," Kristin said.

"Well, um...", Nathan stammered.

Kristin sighed. She knew Nathan meant well. She would let him off the hook this time.

"It's alright, Nathan," Kristin said, "I understand what you are trying to do."

"You do?" Nathan said.

Kristin nodded.

"I promise I won't go overboard. They know that your rules are to be followed. Cynthia already told us what they are and are not allowed to do," Nathan said.

"She did?" Kristin asked.

"Yeah, Mom. We know what you expect from us," Cynthia explained.

Kristin smiled. "So you girls are having fun with Uncle Nathan and Aunt Carol then?"

"Yeah, and it's not just because they buy us stuff either," Jasmine said.

Everyone laughed.

And, the rest of the week went pretty much like this. Nathan and Carol adored the girls, and Nathan did not spoil them too much, as he promised. Although he was sure to give them much-needed attention. After school, they always visited Kristin, and Kristin did get a little better everyday. Both she and the girls had started therapy and were learning how to deal with all that happened emotionally. As the end of the week drew closer, Nathan was beginning to have doubts. Although he was glad that Kristin was getting better, he was worried that she may not be able to handle things on her own. He was concerned she would need help. So, he decided to visit her alone one day while the girls were at school and Carol was grocery shopping.

Nathan knocked on the door frame to Kristin's room.

"Nathan!" Kristin greeted him. "I didn't expect to see you this early."

"Well, I was hoping I could talk to you alone," Nathan said.

"Is something wrong?" Kristin asked worriedly.

"Oh, no," Nathan reassured her. "I just have something to ask you."

"Oh, alright," Kristin relaxed. "Go ahead."

"Um, well, I've...I mean Carol and I have been thinking that you're going to be out of the hospital soon," Nathan began.

"Yes..." Kristin said.

"And we know you are still going to need help, and it might be difficult for you to be in that house after what happened...So, we wanted to know if you and the girls would want to live with us...just until you can get back on your feet. We know it's going to be hard for you," Nathan explained.

Kristin was silent for a moment. "I cannot deny that I have been concerned about returning home; I admit I don't want to be in that house anymore," Kristin began.

"Then, don't," Nathan urged, "Put the house up for sale and get through your divorce. You are welcome to stay with us for as long as you need. We have enough room. It would be no trouble to us at all."

Kristin thought briefly. It did sound like a good solution. "Alright," she finally agreed. And she thanked Nathan by hugging him. And, although Kristin had been though some traumatic experiences, it seemed her life was turning around.


	11. You and Me

**Chapter 11**

**2009**

Kristin was released from the hospital by the end of the week, as promised, and she and the girls moved in with Nathan and Carol. Kristin and the girls continued with therapy, and Kristin was starting to come into her own. She was no longer controlled by Charles, so she was able to be herself, which was a great relief to both her and those around her. Soon, the holidays rolled around, and before everyone knew it, the year was over.

**2010**

Kristin was able to gain enough confidence that she enrolled in college for the spring semester. She wanted to start working again, but she had to do some refresher courses before she could start praciticing medicine again. Then, she wanted to get her doctorate in marine biology. Kristin was finally able to do some things that she wanted. Often, after studying late into the evening, she and Nathan would have long talks. Sometimes, they talked about the submarine plans. She helped him design the medical labs as she promised. Other times, they talked about other things. But, Kristin and Nathan both enjoyed these talks. They had become very close friends.

Over the next several months, Kristin's divorce would be finalized, resulting in a name change. She opted to use her maiden name, Westphalen, and everyone felt she was justified on this considering the circumstances. Then, came the trial. Although it was difficult, she did forgive Charles. For her own sanity and well-being, she had to let go. Charles was sentenced to three years for all the charges. The girls did want to see him on occasion, so Kristin did take them to visit him. Soon, she was Dr. Westphalen, while still attending school, but she was finally practicing medicine again, seeing patients. And she could not have been happier.

But, even though there were a few dark moments, Kristin's life had definitely had postive changes. Nathan and Carol doted on her daughters, and Kristin helped them in any way she could. She and Carol shared household chores, and even though one might think it would have been difficult to live together, life was actually quite pleasant in the Bridger home. It was filled with laughter more than it had been before Nathan and Carol had met Kristin and the girls. Yes, the last few months had been the best thing for everyone involved.

Nathan did start talking about funding for the submarine again with Bill, as he promised. Before long, the gala even was replanned. Nathan was working with Senators Martin and Crane and found that they were trustworthy gentlemen.

So, after months of planning, the night of the gala finally arrived. Ginny Noyce, who was home on a break from school, was able to babysit for Cynthia and Jasmine so that Nathan, Carol, and Kristin could attend. Nathan had especially wanted Kristin to be there since she had a hand in helping him with the plans. But, Kristin had been running late. She called Nathan on her cell phone.

"Kristin?" Nathan answered. "Where are you?"

"Nathan, I'm sorry. I'm stuck in traffic. You and Carol go on ahead, and I'll have to meet you."

Nathan looked at his watch. "It's only 7:00; you'll be able to make it by 8:00, won't you?"

"I should be there. I just don't want to hold you up. I'll be there; I promise, I just got held up at work; there was an emergency."

"Right; I understand. Ginny's already here, so Carol and I will meet you at the hotel."

"I'll see you soon. Goodbye."

"OK, bye," Nathan told her. And, he and Carol left the house.

As 8:00 P.M. rolled around, there was still no Kristin. Although Nathan was busy meeting and greeting several influential people, he was supposed to be making a speech. Because he wanted Kristin to be there for it, he stalled. He had written a passage of acknowledgement, and he was not about to say it without her there to hear it.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Nathan began, "I want to thank you all for coming tonight." Suddenly, Kristin burst through the doors. Although she turned a bright shade of crimson as everyone turned to look at who had the audacity to be late to such an important event, she looked absolutely gorgeous. She was wearing a red, strapless evening gown with long red gloves and a red wrap. She had opted to wear her hair down, but she had styled it beautifully.

She caught Nathan's gaze and mouthed, "Sorry I'm late," as she took an empty seat next to Carol.

Nathan nodded at her, and he gave a wonderful speech, explaining the workings of the submarine and explaining what the funding will be needed for. When Nathan explained the medical labs, he was sure to praise Kristin for her help. When he looked at her, he noticed that she blushed prettily, but she smiled at him, which was enough to thank him for the praise.

After Nathan's speech, there were other speeches to listen to from members of the military brass and the senators. After this, it was dinnertime.

Nathan took a seat next between Carol and Kristin.

"Thank you for all the lovely things you said, Nathan," Kristin whispered to him.

"I meant every word," Nathan whispered back, "By the way, you look gorgeous."

"Thank you," Kristin smiled as she blushed again.

After dinner, the party moved to the ballroom.

Kristin and Carol mingled as Bill pulled Nathan aside.

"Nathan, congratulations!" Bill exclaimed. "You have really pulled this off. The navy has agreed to build your submarine!"

"You mean _we_ pulled this off. And, that's great news," Nathan replied.

Soon, dancing began.

Kristin watched as several couples moved together on the dance floor, including Nathan and Carol. Although Kristin longed for the love, she had not been interested in dating anyone yet. She had been dealing with several emotional demons, and there was one that she refused to admit to anyone. She was beginning to fall in love with Nathan Bridger. She valued his friendship and that of Carol's, and she could not tell anyone what she felt. At first, she had hoped it was just the fact that she was on the rebound and that it would go away. Unfortunately, the feeling grew stronger everyday. Therefore, she could not bring herself to date anyone else. She threw herself into her work and her studying to try to avoid these feelings. Suddenly, Kristin jumped as someone tapped her shoulder.

"Sorry; I didn't mean to startle you," Nathan told her.

Kristin felt her face flush. "It's alright. I was just thinking."

"Oh, what about?" Nathan asked.

"Nothing in particular. Where's Carol?"

"Oh, she needed some air, so she stepped outside. I was wondering if you wanted to dance."

Kristin thought for a moment. Against her better judgement, she agreed.

Nathan and Kristin stepped onto the dance floor. Kristin found herself lost in the music as she rested her head on Nathan's chest. After several dances together, the logical part of Kristin's brain told her that she ought to stop dancing with Nathan; however, her heart told her to stay on the dance floor with him as the band played _Unchained Melody_, one of Kristin's favorite love songs. As the song played, she could feel Nathan's hands hold her tighter, and she looked up to meet his gaze.

Kristin tried to determine what she saw in his eyes. She could see love in them, and it frightened her. It was at this moment that Kristin finally admitted to herself that she was in love with him. Did he feel the same way? She would have loved to know the truth, but Nathan wasn't free. She could not allow him to hurt Carol, and neither could she. Suddenly, Kristin pulled away and left the dance floor.

Nathan followed her. "Kristin?"

Kristin turned to him, "Nathan, I'm sorry. I need some air; I'm not feeling very well."

"Do you need me to go with you?" he asked.

Kristin shook her head, "No, I am sure I'll be fine."

Nathan nodded, and Kristin stepped out outside into the cool night air. Although he could sense there may be something wrong, he left her alone for the time being.

She wrapped her arms around herself as she tried to calm down. She was trembling; she tried to collect her thoughts, and as she did, she found herself sobbing because she had come to a decision, a decision that would change everyones' lives forever.


	12. Goodbye Love

**Chapter 12**

**2010**

Kristin regained her composure and went back into the ballroom. She looked for Nathan and Carol; she was unable to find Nathan, but she did find Carol. She explained that she wasn't feeling very well and that she was going home.

"Are you going to be OK?" Carol asked. "I could go home with you."

"No, really, I'll be fine. I'm sure I'll feel better after I get some rest. You stay here with Nathan. Please tell him what's going on. I couldn't find him," Kristin said.

"I will. See you later,"Carol said.

With that, Kristin got into her car and drove home. The truth was she wasn't feeling well, but for a different reason than tiredness. She had made a decision, and she was afraid how Nathan and Carol would react. Her mother had been begging her to move back to England since the divorce, but Kristin had refused. But since Kristin realized her feelings for Nathan were more than just friendly, she decided that this was best for everyone involved. Since Kristin could not determine how Nathan felt about her, she could not stand idly by and allow fate to rule her life. She feared Nathan would act on his feelings if he was in love with her, and there was no way she could allow that. If she left, it would be best for everyone involved. The problem was breaking the news to everyone, which would be painful. Although the girls would be happy to see their grandparents, they would be sad to leave their friends and Uncle Nathan and Aunt Carol, whom they had come to love dearly. And, she was sure Nathan and Carol would be sad to lose all of them, but Kristin could not see any other way. As Kristin returned home, her head was spinning with all these thoughts. She paid Ginny and sent her home; then, she went to bed, mentally exhausted.

The next day, Kristin had the day off work. Since it was a Sunday, she took the girls out to spend time alone with them. After a day of shopping, she took them to the park. She sat down on a bench with them. It was as good a time as any to break the news to them.

"Girls, I want to talk to you," she started.

They sat down next to her.

"Is something wrong, Mom?" Cynthia asked, the worry evident in her voice.

Kristin put her arm around her, "No, not at all," she comforted, "Don't worry. I just talked to grandma the other day, and she wants us to visit her."

"Oh, I want to go visit Grandma and Grandpa!" Jasmine exclaimed.

Kristin smiled, "Yes, it's been a long time since we've seen them. But, I was thinking...and so was Grandma, what if we stayed there longer than a visit?" Kristin asked.

"You mean Grandma and Grandpa want us to live there?" Cynthia asked.

Kristin nodded. "How would you two feel about that?"

The girls thought for a moment.

Then, Jasmine piped up, "I really would love to see Grandma and Grandpa, but we would miss Uncle Nathan and Aunt Carol."

Cynthia nodded in agreement.

"If we lived with Grandma and Grandpa, we could write to Uncle Nathan and Aunt Carol, and we would visit them. But, then you two could learn to ride horses. You know Grandma has been wanting you two to learn; and Uncle James wants to spend time with you as well," Kristin explained.

The girls walked a few feet away from Kristin to speak privately. They often did this when trying to come up with a collective decision. They weighed the pros and cons of what Kristin was proposing. After a few minutes, they had decided. They went back to where Kristin was waiting.

"OK, we've made up our minds," Cynthia told her.

"And?" Kristin asked.

"We'll move in with Grandma and Grandpa," Jasmine told her.

"As long as we wait until the school year is over," Cynthia finished.

Kristin agreed; school was out for the summer in less than a month, and she hadn't planned to move before then anyway.

"There's just one more thing; don't tell Uncle Nathan and Aunt Carol yet. I haven't told them yet because I wanted to run it by you two first. I want to tell Uncle Nathan and Aunt Carol myself, alright?" Kristin explained.

The girls agreed.

Although Kristin was relieved that Jasmine and Cynthia were willing to move away, she was anxious to break the news to Carol and Nathan. She had already predicted that although Carol would be sad, she would understand. Kristin was more concerned about Nathan. She had mentally debated how she was going to go about breaking the news to them. She decided she would tell Carol first, alone, while Nathan was at work. She felt it was better that way. And, then, she would break the news to Nathan during one of their late night chats.

The next day, Kristin did not have to be to work until the afternoon, so she approached Carol after Nathan and the girls left for the day.

"Carol, can I talk to you?" Kristin asked.

"Of course, Honey. Is there something wrong?" Carol asked with concern.

"No, there's nothing wrong. But, I wanted to tell you that the girls and I have decided to move out," Kristin said.

"Oh, I didn't know you had been looking for a new place yet," Carol said. "Is it near here?"

Kristin sighed, "Not exactly." Kristin hesitated a bit, but decided it best just to say what needed to be said.

"I've decided to move back to England. My parents are getting older, and they've been bugging me for years that they want to see the girls and me more. This would give them that opportunity. It isn't that I don't appreciate everything you and Nathan have done for us. It's just that..." Kristin's voice trailed off as she searched for the right words.

Carol interrupted her, "Kristin, you don't have to explain anything to us. Your life is yours to do what you want with. Of course, we will miss you and the girls, but we can keep in touch...and visit," she put an arm around Kristin's shoulders, "Please don't worry."

Kristin hugged Carol. "I've been so worried about telling you."

"Well, now you've done it, and there's no reason to worry. When are you leaving?" Carol asked.

"Well, it will be after the girls are finished with school for the summer. I haven't exactly set a date just yet, but it will be sometime in June," Kristin explained. "Um, Carol?"

"Yes?" Carol asked.

"Please don't tell Nathan yet. He is the only one I haven't told; I want to tell him myself."

Carol nodded with understanding. She knew that Nathan and Kristin had a close relationship, so she did not think anything was amiss. She trusted that Nathan's and Kristin's relationship was completely platonic.

Kristin had been trying to study. The problem was that she had been staring at the same page in one of her textbooks for over an hour. She must've read the same sentence fifty times over, but she just couldn't concentrate. She was in the living room as usual on nights like this, but she was thinking about Nathan. He had not been home for dinner that night; he was working late at the base. So, Kristin kept checking the clock, wondering when he would come home. It was almost 10:00 PM. Kristin sighed as she closed her book, figuring that it was a lost cause to get any studying done considering the way she was feeling. She grabbed the remote off the coffee table and turned on the TV; although she most likely would not be able to concentrate on that either, she thought it might temporarily give her an escape. After flipping through several channels, Kristin found one of her favorite romance movies was on. She lay back and started to watch. But, as it got later, Kristin found her eyelids drooping, and soon she was fast asleep.

Nathan pulled his car into the driveway; it was a little after 11:00. He had been in meetings all day; because they wanted to start building the submarine, they had to consult him on a great many issues. After a day like this, he was glad to be home, even though Carol would be in bed. But, he hoped that Kristin would not have retired for the evening yet. Nathan enjoyed his late night chats with her; in fact, it was to the point where he needed those late night chats. Nathan found he couldn't go to sleep without seeing her at least once during the day, talking to her, making sure she was alright. He had become very close with her, and he found that he cared deeply for her.

Nathan walked quietly walked inside the house so as not to wake anyone. As he entered, he noticed that the TV in the living room was on. He crossed over to the living room and saw Kristin asleep on the sofa. He stood staring at her for a moment. "She's so beautiful.", he thought. He walked over to the coffee table to pick up the remote to turn the TV off; Kristin began to stir. She opened her eyes to see Nathan.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to wake you," Nathan said quietly.

Kristin sat up, "It's alright; I was waiting for you anyway," she said sleepily, rubbing her eyes, forcing herself back into reality.

Nathan laughed. "I'm a little old to have someone wait up for me. Did I make my curfew?" he quipped. But, Nathan's mood quickly changed when he noticed that Kristin did not laugh with him; in fact her expression worried him.

"Kristin, is there something wrong?" he asked seriously.

Kristin took a deep breath, trying to muster up the courage to say what was weighing on her mind. "Nathan, I have something to tell you," she said.

Nathan stared into her eyes, trying to determine if it was good news of bad news she was about to tell him. He sat down next to her and grabbed her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze of encouragement. "Kristin, you know you can tell me anything; go ahead."

Kristin began, "This is not easy for me to say, Nathan, and I hope you understand that." Nathan nodded, and she continued. "My parents want the girls and I to go to England."

"Oh, is that all?" Nathan smiled. "That's not so bad; you'll be back here before you know it."

"No, Nathan, you don't understand. The girls and I are _moving_ back to England as soon as the girls are out of school for the summer," she said, refusing to look at him. When she did not receive an answer, she continued. "My parents are getting older, and they have not seen me or the girls in years. I want them to know their grandchildren, and I want to spend time with them while they are still alive. And, now that I am divorced, it seems like a good time to do it. And, it's always been my dream to attend Cambridge."

Kristin still did not want to look at him. She sat with her eyes downcast waiting for a response from Nathan, but he said nothing. After a short time, Kristin could not stand the silence any longer.

"How do you feel about this?" she asked, but still not looking up.

"I suppose there is nothing I can do to make you change your mind?" Nathan replied.

Kristin finally forced herself to look at him, and the expression on his face brought tears to her eyes. She could see the pain evident in his face. "I am sorry, Nathan," she whispered, trying not to cry.

Again, Nathan was silent. Kristin sat in agony while he said nothing, praying that she was anywhere but there at the moment.

Finally, Nathan spoke, "Why?"

"I just explained that," Kristin said a little confused.

"No, I mean why now. You were doing fine, just fine. I thought you were happy; you finally got your life back. What brought this on?" Nathan asked.

Now it was Kristin's turn to be silent. She looked into his eyes mentally debating what to say. Nathan was the kind of person that one could not lie to. Nathan could see through it; he always saw people for who they were, and Kristin was no exception. She was powerless against this innate ability of his. Kristin stood and turned away from him. "I've fallen in love," she said in tears.

Nathan rose to place an arm around her shoulders. "What's so bad about that?" he asked, wondering what kind of love could cause her so much pain.

Kristin took a deep breath, trying to stop her tears. "The man I've fallen in love with is married,... and I think he might be in love with me as well," she said, her voice quivering.

Nathan gently grasped her shoulders and turned her to him. He searched her face for the answers to the questions he had not yet asked, but she would not meet his gaze. "Kristin, please look at me," he gently urged her.

But, Kristin shook her head and turned away again.

"Why can't you look at me?" he asked, his voice getting a bit louder with frustration and worry.

"Because I'm in love with you, Nathan!" Kristin said as she turned back to him, the volume of her voice raised due to her emotions. "And, I cannot do this. I cannot just stand by and watch you with her when the whole time I will be wishing that you are hugging and kissing me, loving me. And, how could I be such a lousy friend? How could I betray Carol's trust by feeling this way? How could I be so stupid to allow myself to fall for another woman's husband? Charles cheated on me for years; how could I do that to another woman, especially one who has become such a wonderful friend? And, whether you want to admit it or not, I know that you are in love with me too, Nathan. I can see it in the way you look at me; I can see it every time I look into your eyes," she said as she broke into sobs, showing how all of these feelings had affected her.

Nathan wrapped his arms around her and held her while she cried, letting the reality of Kristin's words soak in. Kristin had been absolutely correct; he had fallen in love with her too, although he had not meant to do so. He didn't think Kristin meant it either. Sometimes, it seems, when we have plans for our lives, fate comes along and changes these plans. He had not fallen out of love with Carol; he still loved her. But, Kristin and Carol were so different in many ways, and Kristin was so easy to love. One could not help loving her from the moment one met he, and Nathan was no exception. He just did not want to realize it until now. After what seemed like a very long time, Kristin's tears stopped.

"Kristin, you are right," Nathan finally said, "I am in love with you too. But, that doesn't mean you need to leave the country."

"Nathan, I am not going to be responsible for breaking up your marriage, and I am not going to betray Carol. If I leave, you can decide for yourself. Decide if you are truly still in love with Carol, decide if you want to stay married to her. Then, if you decide that you no longer love her, then have the decency to tell her the truth. Don't let her believe that you still love her if you don't. And, after you are truly free, both physically and emotionally, and you still want me, you just let me know. But, I am not going to stay here and sneak around behind Carol's back because I am not strong enough to resist you. And, I am afraid that if we continue the way we are, someone is going to end up hurt, and it isn't fair to any one of us," Kristin explained.

Nathan thought for a moment. Everything that Kristin was saying was completely logical, and even though he certainly did not want her to leave the country, he finally understood what she was doing, what she felt she had to do and why.

"Kristin, this isn't your fault, you know. This is something that nobody planned," Nathan said softly.

"Maybe not, but it doesn't make it any easier," Kristin said, "So, you understand now?"

Nathan nodded. "And we will still keep in touch, right?"

Kristin smiled for the first time that day, "Yes, I'd like that very much. You know the girls are still going to want to hear from their Uncle Nathan and Aunt Carol. We can write, call, and even visit on occasion."

"You know I'll miss you," Nathan said.

"Me too," Kristin said, "but it's for the best, Nathan."

Nathan nodded in agreement.

The month went by fast, faster than anyone expected. Finally, the day came for Kristin and the girls to leave. Nathan and Carol went to the airport to see Kristin and the girls off.

"You know, maybe Carol and I can visit you for Christmas. She has been bugging me for years to take her to Europe," Nathan said to Kristin as they all sat down to wait at the proper gate for the flight.

Kristin smiled, "That would be wonderful."

Until the plane arrived, small talk was exchanged between all. Then, came the time for Kristin and the girls to say goodbye.

Nathan and Carol hugged the girls and told them how much they would miss them. Then, Carol hugged Kristin.

Finally, Kristin hugged Nathan. She kissed him gently on the cheek and whispered softly so that only he could hear, "I'll never stop loving you."

"Me too," Nathan whispered back.

And, with tears in her eyes, Kristin turned, and she and the girls boarded the plane. Although Kristin was dying inside, she forced herself not to fall apart. She had to stay strong because if the girls saw her break down, they would become alarmed. And, she didn't want to scare them or anyone else on the flight.

But, Nathan and Carol would never get the opportunity to visit after all because no one, not even Nathan, could have predicted what would happen in the months to come.


	13. Come What May

**Chapter 13**

**2010**

Since the attacks on September 11, 2001, the United States learned that they were not well-liked by many other countries in the world. With a war still going on in the Middle East, both the United States government and the military worked to maintain freedom and sanity for the rest of its citizens. The US government received threats daily; unfortunately, it was difficult to determine which threats to believe and those to discredit. Many of the threats included the mention of nuclear weapons. In fact, several countries were gaining access to such weapons, and this was becoming a concern to both the government and the military.

Therefore, the US government ordered several troops to be sent out to these countries to try to squelch plans of a nuclear attack. In the latter half of 2010, Nathan found he was no exception. Although he had not been on a tour of active duty for two years, something that Carol had been happy about, Nathan was asked to become captain (incidentally, Bill Noyce's rank moved to admiral) of a boat on a mission to North Korea. Robert, having graduated from the naval academy, was also called for active duty. Carol was angry; she had hoped that Nathan's days of being out at sea were over. Although she understood that the military had a duty to protect the rest of the US citizens, she did not understand why Nathan felt he had to be involved with it. He had put in over twenty years of service and duty, and she begged Nathan to retire.

"Why do you have to go?" Carol asked for the thousandth time.

"Carol, Honey, I have told you. This is an amazing opportunity. I'll be a captain, leading other crewman. Aren't you proud of that?" Nathan asked.

"I am proud of you for who you are already; I don't care what your rank is. I just want you to be with me. I don't want to have to stay here while you're out at sea, waiting and worrying if you're even alive. I do that enough with Robert! I don't want to do that anymore with you," Carol said, raising her voice.

"Carol, I don't want to argue about this. I've already received my orders; I can't go back now," Nathan said.

"If you would have retired last year, like I asked you, this wouldn't be happening now. I don't know how you can just leave," Carol said.

"I didn't retire because I didn't want to, and I am sorry you cannot understand that. Look, I promise I will retire when this is all over," Nathan said.

"Who knows how long that will be? You are going to be gone for at least a year; what happens if we go to war?" Carol asked.

"Carol, that isn't going to happen," Nathan told her.

"You cannot possibly know that. You just do not know where I am coming from on this. You've never had to be at home worrying while I am off on some boat in the middle of danger for months at a time," Carol said, trying to choke back tears.

Nathan placed his hands on her shoulders, "Sweetheart, I do understand how hard it is for you, and someday, I will retire. But, for now, I am going to do what I feel is necessary, and I hope you can understand that and support me. I love you."

Carol sighed. "I love you too, Nathan. That's why I don't want you to go."

Nathan sighed. He was torn between Carol and his duty. He was through trying to make her understand; he just wanted her to accept it. "Carol, it isn't that I don't want to stay..."

"Nathan, I know," Carol said, "I get it; I really do, but I don't have to like it."

Nathan kissed her. "Thank you," he said.

"You just better come back to me in one piece."

"I'll try," Nathan said with a smile, as he headed to work at the base.

After arriving at work, he figured he ought to send an E-mail to Kristin. He had to let her know what was going on since he and Carol would not be visiting for the holidays after all.

_Hello Sweetheart,_

_I miss you, and I hope you are doing well. How are the girls? I've been thinking about all of you. I have some bad news, I guess, and I hope you will understand. Carol and I will be unable to visit you for the holidays. I am not sure how closely you are following the US news, but there are a lot of concerns in the world now. The President has called many troops to duty, and I am one of them. I made captain, actually. I cannot disclose all the details because it is classified, but I am going to be gone at least a year. We are to be keeping an eye on North Korea. I hope you understand this. Carol is not very happy with me at all. I don't know how else to make her understand that this is something I have to do. She wanted me to retire two years ago, and I refused. Now, her only child (Robert is going into active duty as well) and her husband are going to be gone, and she will be left alone to worry. I am sorry that she has to go through this; I really am. But, I cannot turn my back on what I love to do. I would not be happy behind a desk doing paperwork, and Carol knows that. I am sorry to dump this all on you, but I need to hear someone support me, and I hope you will. I wanted to call you, to hear your voice, but, noting the time, I did not know if you would be at work or in class. I would love to talk to you before I ship out; I leave in three weeks. Please write soon. I love you,_

_Nathan_

Later that day, Nathan received a phone call on his cell phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Sailor. I read your E-mail," Nathan heard Kristin's husky voice on the other end of the line. "Are you OK? You sounded like you and Carol were having a bad time."

Nathan sighed, "She just doesn't want me to go."

"Well, I can understand that, but she can't ask you to be something you're not either."

This was one reason why he loved Kristin; she was always supportive of him no matter what. "Kristin, it's great to hear your voice," Nathan said.

Kristin laughed lightly. "It's good to hear yours too. Did you and Carol work it out?"

"As much as we're going to work it out, yes. She really doesn't have much of a choice. She's worried I won't come back," Nathan said.

"I have to say I'm not elated about you leaving for a year either. I am used to hearing from you fairly often, even if it is just by E-mail. Now that is going to be limited, and Carol won't be the only one who is worried," Kristin said.

"I promise I'll write you every chance I get," Nathan told her.

"You'd better, even if it's just to let me know you're alive."

"Right."

"Nathan, just because I'll be worried doesn't mean that I don't support you," Kristin said.

"I know, and thank you for that. I needed to hear someone say that," Nathan told her.

"I could tell by what you said in the E-mail. I am glad I could be there for you."

"Me too," Nathan said.

"Congratulations on captain, by the way."

"Thank you. It is a wonderful opportunity."

"So, what becomes of your submarine now?" Kristin asked.

"Unfortunately, it looks like it might be on hold for a while, but I am OK with that. There are more important things to deal with."

"Well, I am glad you are not too broken-hearted," Kristin said.

"So, how are you? How's work?" Nathan asked.

"I am doing fine. Work is great; it keeps me busy, but that's good. It keeps me out of trouble. The girls are doing wonderfully in school, and their grandmother has insisted they start riding lessons," Kristin said. Then, in her best impression of her mother she said, "Proper English girls need to learn such skills."

"Is that what she says?" Nathan laughed.

"Yes. She feels it's a crime for people not to learn equestrian skills."

"And, are you a 'proper' English girl?"

"Hmmm. What do you think?" she teased. "Do you think I am proper?"

"I haven't found out yet, but I hope to someday."

Kristin cleared her throat, changing the subject before the light flirting got too much for the both of them, "I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too."

"Nathan, I have to go. I just wanted to you to know that I got your E-mail and that I understand. Take care of yourself," she said.

"You too; I love you."

"I love you too. Write to me soon."

"I will. Goodbye."

"Goodbye, Nathan."

The three weeks came and went. Although a few E-mails were exchanged, Nathan and Kristin did not get the chance to speak again before he left. Nathan had wanted to speak with her, to hear her voice once more, but they just couldn't make it work. Although Carol had said she was alright with Nathan leaving, their relationship was strained. She blamed Nathan for forcing Robert into the military, and now she was losing both of them-and it was the holidays. Through all of this, Nathan still loved Carol, but this had been a battle he'd fought with her before, and he wasn't backing down. Before she knew it, the year would be over, and they'd be back together.

He had decided not to divorce her, to stay married to her; he explained it to Kristin, and she said she understood. He was in love with Kristin, as he admitted, but Nathan was the kind of man who held his vows sacred. He said 'til death do us part', and he meant it. Although he enjoyed his talks and letters with Kristin, they had decided to remain only friends. Kristin and Nathan, of course, never told Carol nor wanted her to know about the affair of the heart; they both felt it would hurt her too much, and it would cause much unneeded drama.

Kristin had not expected for Nathan to leave Carol, although she could not say she didn't wish it. But, Kristin maturely accepted the news when Nathan told her. This was what she wanted; she wanted Nathan to do the right thing, the honorable thing. Nathan always did so, and she didn't want him to change because of her. She feared that if she had stayed, Nathan would have made a decision he would regret later. And, if they were meant to be together, she knew that fate would bring them together again.


	14. Don't Let Me Down

**Chapter 14**

**2011**

_Dear Kristin, _

_How are you and the girls? I am doing alright; I am just very lonely and worried about Nathan and Robert. I know it's only been four months, but it feels like a lifetime that they've been away. It's difficult not to break down some days. Have you heard from Nathan? He told me in one of his letters that he was sending one to you too. I just cannot wait until all of this is over. I just want to hold both my husband and my son in my arms and never let them go. I don't want us to be apart again. I am sorry if I am not exactly happy now; I hope you understand. Thank you for being there for me; you are such a wonderful friend. Please write soon._

_Love,_

_Carol_

Kristin sighed as she read her E-mail. Ever since Nathan shipped out, she had played the loyal friend to both Nathan and Carol. Nathan wrote to her often, and his letters were filled with his complaints about Carol hounding on him about his love for the Navy. And, Carol's letters and E-mails were filled with how lonely and upset she was. And, Kristin tried to console both of them, trying to be a good friend, writing back and telling both of them to see the other side, to put themselves in each other's shoes. It was exhausting, some days. She truly enjoyed her letters from Nathan, and she was glad to know he was alive when she received one. However, she did not want to play mediator for the two of them. Nathan told her how much he missed her, how he thought of her every day, and how much he loved her. But, he also said how much he loved Carol, and he told Kristin about their arguments. Again, Kristin was torn between her head and her heart-her heart wanting the love of this man, but her head telling her it wasn't right. She knew Nathan loved Carol, and Kristin loved her too. She did not want to betray her. So, Kristin found that it was better to be Nathan's friend than nothing at all-and she found the same to be true with Carol. So, she did her best to console both of them when she heard from them. So, she began typing a reply.

_Dear Carol, _

_The girls and I are doing well. You sound like you could use some company; I have some time off work next month. How would you like it if I came to visit you? The girls wouldn't be able to come, but you and I could spend time together. How does that sound? Let me know._

_Love,_

_Kristin_

Kristin clicked the send button; she was hoping Carol would agree to her visit. She believed it would be good for the both of them. A short time later, Kristin received an affirmative reply, as she expected. Carol sounded elated, and Kristin smiled to herself, thinking about how wonderful it would be to see her again.

As Kristin stepped off the plane to enter the airport, she could see Carol waiting for her.

"Oh, Kristin!" Carol said, wrapping Kristin in a tight, friendly hug, "I am so happy that you decided to come!"

"You know I've missed you!" Kristin said, returning the hug. "And I thought it might do you some good to have some company."

"And I am thankful for that. Are you hungry?" Carol asked.

"Starved," Kristin replied.

And the two friends left to get dinner at a restaurant. Kristin had been worried that Carol would be depressed when she saw her, but she seemed quite happy. Kristin was glad she had offered to visit; although it would only be for a week, she had a feeling this was what Carol needed.

After arriving back at Carol's house, Kristin and Carol went to the living room to talk. Of course, the subject of Nathan came up.

"You know, I never wanted Robert to join the navy, but Nathan had been putting the idea of being a navy hero in his head since he was little," Carol said.

"Every father wants his son to be something great," Kristin replied.

"I understand that, but why couldn't he be great being a doctor or a teacher, something that required him to stay on land?"

"I suppose for the same reason Nathan wasn't happy doing those things," Kristin said, "You know they would never be truly happy stuck behind a desk doing paperwork, and just because he won't does not mean he doesn't love you. You can take the man out of the sea, but you cannot take the sea out of the man. You need to let this go."

Carol sighed, "I suppose you're right. It's just feels like Nathan isn't listening to me; and I just cannot understand what's so damned great about being out on a boat for months at a time, knowing that you are taking a risk of your life every second of your day."

"Because Nathan, and I am sure Robert as well, doesn't think of it like that. He wants to make the world a better place, stop injustice, right wrongs, and this is the way he sees fit to do so. And, if either one were to get hurt or worse, it would be honorable," Kristin said.

Carol didn't quite like the fact that Kristin was supporting Nathan; she wanted Kristin to say, "You're absolutely right Carol. Nathan is a jerk for leaving you and making Robert join the navy." But, Kristin was always so diplomatic. She always saw both sides of an issue, and, although it was an admirable quality at times, Carol did not want diplomacy right now. She wanted female sympathy and support. There is something fulfilling about female comradery through man-bashing, but Carol realized this was not going to happen. She decided to change the subject.

"I know Nathan loves me," she grabbed a stack of letters from a drawer in an end table, "he tells me in his letters."

Kristin noticed that there were only five letters in her hand, "Do you save _all_ of them?" she asked.

"Yes; is that silly? It's just that it's all I have left of him when he's gone, something to hold onto," Carol explained.

Kristin nodded with understanding. At first, she felt elated because Nathan had sent her about thirty letters by now-and he'd only sent his _wife_ five? But, then, Kristin felt a sharp pang of guilt.

"Nathan says he thinks of me all the time, and he writes me every chance he gets," Carol explained.

"I'm sure he does," Kristin said, not trying to let on what she knew to be true. "You know, I've had a long flight, and I'm really tired. Do you mind if I get some sleep?"

"Oh, of course! Not at all; I forgot about jet lag. Go right ahead. I am going to stay up for a bit longer," Carol said.

"No problem," Kristin said, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Kristin."

As Kristin turned to leave the room, Carol said, "And, Kristin?"

"Yes?"

"I'm really glad you're here."

"Me too; see you in the morning."

And, Kristin went upstairs, but on the way to her room, she passed by Nathan and Carol's bedroom. The truth was she wasn't as tired as she had said. She was feeling guilty, but she also realized how strange it was to be in this house without Nathan. She kept waiting for him to walk through the door, the way he had done when she lived there. She missed Nathan more now than when she had moved away. She quietly went into the bedroom and opened the closet. She found some of Nathan's shirts hanging, and she took out one of them. It was one of her favorites-blue denim that he liked to wear on weekends. She smelled the shirt; it smelled exactly like Nathan. And with that, all kinds of memories came flooding back to her, bringing tears to her eyes. She brought the shirt with her to her room, hoping Carol would not notice the shirt missing. She wrapped the shirt around herself as tightly as she could. When she closed her eyes, she felt as though Nathan was wrapping his arms around her, holding her close. Soon, she fell asleep.

Soon, the week was up, and it was time for Kristin to go back home. She had opted to 'borrow' Nathan's shirt, so she had packed it with the rest of her things. She knew that if Nathan had been there, he would have allowed it. She missed him so much, and it was comforting to have something that belonged to him. Although it definitely could not replace Nathan, it helped her to feel as if he was there with her.

As Kristin said her goodbyes to Carol and boarded the flight, she hoped and prayed that Nathan was safe. She was hoping there may be a letter waiting for her filled with Nathan's affections for her. Kristin could no longer deny that she and Nathan were wrapped up in an emotional affair, but, as much as her head screamed how wrong it was, her heart never wanted it to end. Carol did not suspect otherwise. Although Kristin had hoped that she and Nathan may be able to be together one day, truly together, she never wished any bad to come to Carol. She never forced Nathan to choose between them, although it was apparent, through the letters, whom he had already chosen.

She couldn't wait to ask Nathan herself, but she found that that question would have to wait for the troubles in the world were getting worse, for Carol's words had come back to haunt Nathan, because a third world war broke out. Kristin and Carol both knew that Nathan and Robert would not return home for quite a long time.


	15. I Don't Want to Miss a Thing

**Chapter 15**

**Later in 2011**

_My Darling,_

_Now that I am not going to be home for sometime, Carol is angry with me again, as usual. She had warned me that something like this would happen. I had told her that everything would be fine, but it seems I was wrong. It's no secret that another third world war was inevitable; it was more a matter of when. When it seems there is no hope in this horrible situation, I just think of you and remember that there is something wonderful waiting for me when this is all over. I love you so very much, Sweetheart. I cannot wait until we can be together, until I can hold you in my arms. You are what keeps me going; I hope you know that. Please write me soon._

_Yours always and forever,_

_Nathan_

Tears flowed down Kristin's face as she read Nathan's letter. Although it was short, it said so much. In his last few letters, Nathan did not even mention that he loved Carol anymore. Kristin had debated many times asking him what his intentions were, but at the same time, she did not want it to end...the affair of the heart. She tried for so long to choose with her head, to do what was right, but she decided it was time to listen to her heart. And, she justified it by the fact that she and Nathan had not cheated, not physically anyway. And, since Nathan was out to sea, the reality of him coming home and choosing between his wife and her seemed very far off. Kristin did not want to end her feelings of elation, however delusional they may have been. She wiped her eyes, blew her nose, and started writing a reply.

_My Dearest Nathan,_

_It does my heart good to hear from you. In your last letter, it frightened me when you told me what was going on, all the fighting and killing. My greatest fear is that you will be killed and that all I will have left of you is your letters-and your shirt (remember I told you that I borrowed one when I visited Carol). I couldn't bear that; I pray every day that you will be protected-that you are safe. There is not a day that goes by when I don't think of you. I miss you so very much, and I love you with all my heart. I wear your shirt to bed; it makes me feel as though you're with me, like I have a piece of you here. I cannot wait until I have more than just your shirt with me. Please stay safe._

_Always yours,_

_Kristin _

Kristin folded the letter, placed it in an envelope, and walked to the mailbox on the corner to mail it.

And, this was how the next year went between Nathan and Kristin. Although Nathan still wrote Carol, and Kristin still E-mailed her, the communications were few and far between. Carol could not let go of her anger with the war and with Nathan, and she had let it consume her. Therefore, neither Nathan nor Kristin could change her mind or seem to extinguish the anger.

**2012 **

Kristin's heart sank as her father told her that her brother, James had been killed. He had been leading a geological expedition on an island in the Indian Ocean, and James and all other members of the research team had died.

"How did this happen?" Kristin asked, her voice raised due to her emotions.

Her father put an arm around her, "Kristin, Sweetheart, calm down. We don't know what happened just yet."

"Calm down? Calm down? How can I possibly calm down? My brother goes on a geological expedition, something that certainly should _not_ cause death, something that is supposed to be safe..." but Kristin couldn't continue anymore for she had broken down in tears.

Her father hugged her close, trying to sooth her. After a while, she told him she was fine, and she retired to her room. However, Kristin found herself crying again. The problem was, she was not just crying for James; she was crying for Nathan. At a time when she needed him most, he was not there. She longed to hear his voice, to feel his arms around her. Unfortunately, with the war going on with no sign of resolution any time soon, it seemed the chances of that were slim to none.

Later, the Westphalen family had learned that they could not recover James' body because of the details of his death; a neurotoxin of some sort had been used, and, although no one knew who was yet responsible, the risks of the toxin were unknown. The bodies had to be left, and this news was both heartbreaking and devastating to Kristin. It was horrible enough that such a tragedy occurred, but not being able to properly bury his body, not being able to say goodbye was too much for her to bear.

_Hello Sweetheart,_

_I was able to E-mail you today...I have wonderful news. We are going to be arriving in Brighton in a few days for supplies, and it looks like we will be there for the whole day. How about you take a drive and meet me? I would love to see you! Please say you will. I miss you so much, Baby. Please let me know, and I will give you the details. I will be thinking of you._

_Love,_

_Nathan_

Kristin couldn't believe it. She had been praying this would happen, praying that she could see Nathan. After the past few weeks with James' death, this was exactly what she needed. With happy tears, she wrote back.

_Oh Nathan, _

_Of course I will meet you in Brighton! It is only a little over an hour's drive from London, so it would be quite easy to meet you. You don't know how much it will mean to me to see you; I have so much to tell you. I have not had an easy time lately, and I need your love and support now more than ever. Just let me know the day and time, and I'll be there. I love you so much._

_Yours,_

_Kristin_

Nathan wrote her back and told her his boat was expected to be in Brighton in three days-three days! Kristin was elated. She couldn't wait to see him!

It was difficult to keep her car at a reasonable speed as Kristin drove to Brighton because she was so excited. As she drove to the docks where Nathan would be arriving, she found herself trembling with anticipation. A short time later, Kristin saw a boat come in, and then she saw several naval soldiers on the dock. She scanned them for Nathan, but did not see him. After waiting, what seemed like a very long time, she finally asked a young soldier if he knew where Nathan was.

"Excuse me, Sir?" Kristin asked.

"Yes, ma'am. Can I help you?" the young man said with a southern drawl.

"I was wondering if you happened know Captain Nathan Bridger? Could you tell me where he is? He is expecting me."

"Yes, ma'am. Captain Bridger is still on the boat; he likes to wait until all the crewman are off until he exits. Would you like me to tell him you're here?" the man asked politely.

Kristin smiled to herself; that was like Nathan, making sure everyone was safely ashore before he went himself. "No, that's alright. I'll wait. Thank you."

"You're welcome, ma'am."

So, Kristin went to sit down on a bench near the dock. She would be glad to wait since Nathan probably had some business to conduct as well, being the captain and the reason his boat was ashore in the first place. Kristin found herself lost in thought when she heard a familiar voice behind her.

"Is this seat taken?" Nathan asked her.

Kristin stood up and ran around the bench and jumped into his arms. "Oh, Nathan!" she cried through happy tears. "I missed you so much."

Nathan held her tightly, and the two of them stood for several minutes just holding each other. Then, Nathan asked her, "Should we go get something to eat and talk?"

Kristin nodded as they walked to Kristin's car.

As Kristin drove to a small cafe that she knew, Nathan asked her, "So what's been going on with you lately? It worried me when you didn't want to tell me in E-mail why you've been having a hard time."

Kristin sighed and tried not to cry as she told Nathan about James' death.

As Kristin parked the car, and she and Nathan got out of the vehicle, Nathan walked around to her and pulled her close to him to hug her, trying to console her due to the death of her brother. "Kristin, I am so sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

"Thank you, Nathan," Kristin said as she wiped a few tears from her face, "but you already have. I'd been praying to see you, and my prayers have been answered. This is exactly what I needed."

"It's what we_ both _needed," Nathan said as he grabbed her hand as they walked inside the cafe.

And, for this one day, it seemed as though Kristin and Nathan were the only two people in the world as they shared words and feelings with each other. There was no Carol, no war, just the two of them. They spent the day talking and laughing. But, before either of them knew it, the day had come to an end, and Nathan found that he was going to have to say goodbye, something he did not want to do.

As he and Kristin drove back to the dock, Kristin felt her emotions get the best of her. She did her best to choke back tears as the time drew near to say goodbye, but to no avail. As she parked the car, she broke down in sobs as Nathan held her, almost crying himself.

"Shhhhh," he soothed, "Please don't cry, Baby. We both knew it was just for the day."

"I know," Kristin said through her tears, "but it doesn't make it any easier."

Nathan held her tighter, "I know, Baby, I know. If it's any consolation, I certainly don't _want_ to leave."

They stayed like this for a long time, holding each other, but Nathan had to break away from her because he had an obligation.

They both walked to the boat together, Kristin still in tears.

"Kristin, please don't cry," Nathan urged her, "It kills me to see you like this."

"I'm sorry; I'm just afraid I won't ever see you again. What if..." But Kristin couldn't finish as she broke into pained sobs.

Nathan pulled her into a tight hug. "Please don't think of that, Baby. Just keep praying for me, as you do, and everything will be fine. I love you so much."

Kristin forced herself to calm down for Nathan; she knew it was just as difficult for him to leave her. She looked into his eyes and said, "I love you too."

And, with that Nathan captured her lips in one tender, but passionate kiss. Then, he turned and left, leaving Kristin crying on the dock.


	16. Hello, Mr Heartache

**Chapter 16**

**2012**

_Dear Carol,_

_How are you? I hope you are well. I do care for you, Honey, but I have something to tell you. I want you to know this is something no one had planned, but I've fallen in love with someone else. You and I can't seem to get along any more. I think we've just grown apart, and I think it's best if-_

Nathan tried so many times to write to Carol to tell her the truth, to tell her it was over. But, he did still care and love for Carol, so it was difficult to tell her. He did not want to hurt her, so he ripped this letter up like all the others. Ever since the day in Brighton, Nathan knew that he wanted to be only with Kristin. No matter what he did, he could not seem to make Carol happy anymore, and he'd given up doing so. But, Kristin always seemed to understand him, always loved him. He decided it was much easier to write to her.

_My dearest Kristin,_

_How are you, Sweetheart? It's been a month since we last saw each other, but it feels like a lifetime. I miss you so very much, but I need to be honest with you. I've been trying to think of a way to tell Carol about us. You need to understand that I love you with all my heart and that I always will. But, Carol is my wife, and I love her too. Am I still in love with her? I think I am in love with the idea of her, with the idea that inside, she is still the sweet girl that I married. Although the last couple of years have been difficult with her, I am hoping that that girl is still in there somewhere, under all the anger, all the animosity. _

_The last thing I want to do is hurt you; God, I don't ever want to hurt you. But, as difficult as it has been with Carol, I don't want to hurt her either. I need you to understand that I am in love with you, will always love you...and maybe after this damned war is over, maybe we will be together. But, I need to try with Carol first...I need to know that it is really over because I fear that if I leave her, I may be wondering someday what might have been if I had tried to work it out with her. _

_I don't regret meeting you, and I don't regret loving you. I don't want you to have any regrets either. It was something nobody planned. Fate brought us together, and I think we are all the better for it. I hope you understand. I remember when you first decided when you were going to move to England, and I am sure you do too, that you told me that you wanted to be sure that I was physically and emotionally free. Well, I am not emotionally free yet, and I am so sorry that I may have given you the impression that I was. It wasn't fair to you. _

_So what am I asking you? Well, I want your love and support, as you've always given me. Say that you understand and that you aren't angry. Say that you still love me and will wait until I can get through my emotional demons. But above all, I want you to still be my friend. I don't want to lose you in my life; I need you in my life. I just cannot make a commitment to you just yet. Please understand and please write me soon. I need to know how you feel, even if you write that you never want to speak with me again. Just please respond. Please know that I will always love you._

_Nathan _

Tears fell down Kristin's cheeks as she read Nathan's letter. She scolded herself for being so stupid. Of course she had taken a risk when she trusted her heart instead of her head, but she thought that Nathan was ready, thought he was going to break it off with Carol like he promised. She couldn't bring herself to respond to him right then; Nathan had broken her heart. Kristin walked over to the nightstand near her bed and opened the drawer. She pulled out Nathan's shirt and hugged it to her like a child's security blanket. She laid down on her bed and cried herself to sleep.

A few months had gone by, and Nathan still received no letter from Kristin. He had come to the realization that he had lost her forever, and it killed him inside. He knew he'd broken her heart, but he never meant to do so. He'd wished he could go back, that he'd not given his heart to her so freely. Then, he'd still have her in his life, have her friendship. He'd wished things were different, that he was able to leave Carol to make Kristin happy. He wanted Kristin to be happy; Kristin deserved it so much. He'd wanted to show Kristin with every fiber of his being that he loved her, but he couldn't for the reasons he had explained.

Kristin tried many times to write back to Nathan, but it was so emotionally draining for her to do so. She'd been trying to mend her broken heart, and writing to Nathan just broke it all over again. She'd find herself sobbing every time she'd tried to write to him. She wanted to tell him that she would continue to be his friend. She needed Nathan in her life just as Nathan needed her in his; she did not place all the blame on Nathan. It was her fault for falling in love with a married man. She knew this could happen. It's only that she wanted to believe. But, Kristin didn't want to leave Nathan thinking that she wanted nothing to do with him. So, she forced herself to write to him.

_Dear Nathan,_

_I am sorry for not writing sooner, and since you were honest with me, I am going to be honest with you. You've hurt me deeply, Nathan. I think you know that. I have done a lot of thinking over the past few months, and a lot of crying as well. However, I don't blame you completely either. We both knew what we were getting into when we started, and neither one of us wanted to admit the reality of Carol. Carol has been a dear friend of mine, and I don't want to see her hurt. I do understand you not wanting that either. Although I want nothing more than to have you all to myself, to love you freely, I do not think I could do that if I knew you had doubts. You are absolutely correct; I want you to be free both physically and emotionally, so I understand what you must do. _

_Nathan, I will always be your friend and will continue to be. As far as your lover, I am not sure that I can wait for something that may never happen. I will never stop loving you, as I promised, but I am not going to continue living in a delusion that we will someday be together. I have done that for too long, and all it's done was cause me pain. I don't want pain anymore, Nathan. I want to be happy. If we were meant to be together, then it will happen someday, I suppose. But, we need to realize that may never happen. I hope you understand that. I am telling you that you can't call me sweetheart or baby anymore, don't tell me how much you want to be with me, don't tell me how much you love me anymore. All that does is hurt me; it makes me feel as though my heart is in your teeth. I cannot handle that! I do not WANT that; it is too much for me to bear. I hope you can respect this, and I hope you understand. _

_Love,_

_Kristin_

Nathan Bridger was happy when he'd read the return address on the envelope. What he thought was a lost relationship perhaps was not. However, upon reading Kristin's letter, Nathan felt horrible. He never wanted to hurt Kristin, but he had. He did not know until he'd read the letter how much, however. He felt horribly guilty for causing so much pain to Kristin, but she was willing to forgive him, to keep being his friend. And, for that, he was grateful. He would have to watch his terms of endearment with her, only use her simple name. He understood that-platonic friends. And perhaps fate would bring them together again one day...

**2013**

The United States government felt the need to send many of the troops home. Although the war was still going on, the situation was under control so that not so many armed forces were needed. Therefore, Nathan was included in the numbers being released. Although Carol was not happy that Robert had to stay on duty, she was relieved that Nathan would be coming home.

_Dear Kristin,_

_Have you heard the news? Many troops are being sent home...and I am one of them. Isn't that wonderful? Perhaps I can begin working on the submarine again. Did I tell you that I've come up with a name for it? seaQuest. OK, so maybe it needs a little work, but I suppose I'll have lots of time on my hands now. How have you been? How are the girls? Once I am home, we can E-mail...and call. Now that vid-link has been invented, it will be nice that we can actually see one another. By the time you get this, I will be on my way to Florida. I hope to hear from you soon._

_Love,_

_Nathan_

Upon receipt of Nathan's letter, Kristin figured she ought to E-mail him.

_Dear Nathan,_

_I heard on the news about all the troops being sent home; England is doing the same thing with our armed forces as well. I am so glad that you are going to be out of harm's way. Is your son going home too? I am happy for you; now you and Carol can work on your marriage. Before we know it, this war will be over, I think. The girls are doing wonderfully. Cynthia is fifteen now, and Jasmine is ten. They've grown so fast! I've sent Carol pictures of them; you'll have to ask her to show them to you. _

_I am doing well, Nathan. I'm still working at the hospital, and I've been working with the university in research...both the things that I love. Things are going well. I actually need to leave for work, but we will talk soon. I'd love if you called me; it will be great to see your face. _

_Love,_

_Kristin_

After Nathan returned home and got settled in, he read his E-mail. It sounded as though Kristin was doing well. He did notice that she did not mention anything about dating or how she was doing emotionally. He decided to call her. He dialed her number on the vid-link.

"Hello?" a lovely young girl answered. If Nathan hadn't known better, he'd swear it was Kristin herself sitting there save for the longer hair and the blue eyes.

"Jasmine?" Nathan asked.

"Uncle Nathan! How are you? Mom said you were returning home; we're all glad that you are safe," she replied.

Cynthia walked into the room, and upon hearing the familiar voice, walked up behind her sister. "Is that Uncle Nathan?" she asked.

"Hello, Cynthia," Nathan replied, noticing that Cynthia had grown into a beautiful young lady as well.

"It's great to hear from you," Cynthia replied. "You know, we were all worried about you with this war going on."

"Well, there's no reason to worry now. Is your mother around?" Nathan asked.

"I'll go tell her you're on the vid-screen. She's upstairs," Jasmine said as she left the view of the screen.

A few moments later, Kristin appeared on the screen; the girls left the room to give them privacy. She looked gorgeous, Nathan thought.

"Hello, Nathan," Kristin smiled gently.

"Hello, Sw-uh-Kristin." Nathan caught himself before he broke Kristin's rule. "It's wonderful to see you," Nathan said quickly, hoping Kristin hadn't caught his mistake.

"Likewise. So happy to be home, are you?"

"Yes. Bill's convince the navy to begin building the _seaQuest_ with me overseeing it all. It looks like I'll have a lot to keep me busy. By the way, what do you think of that name? Do you think it sounds corny?" Nathan asked.

Kristin laughed lightly, "Not at all corny; I like that name. I am happy for you."

"Thanks," Nathan smiled. Then, he grew serious as the question he wanted to ask weighed on his mind. "Kristin?"

"Yes?"

"How are you?"

"I'm fine...I told you that in the E-mail."

"No, I mean, how are you...emotionally?" he pressed.

The truth was that Kristin was still a bit of an emotional wreck. She'd gone on a few dates with a doctor she worked with, but she just couldn't bring herself to move it to anything more serious. The problem was that she kept comparing him to Nathan, and he nor any other man just could not live up to his image. But, she didn't want to make Nathan feel bad for the decision he'd made.

"Nathan, I told you that I understand. I wrote you how I felt, how I feel. I meant it. I am doing fine now," she lied.

"Really?"

"Really. I've even gone on a few dates," she replied.

The thought of Kristin with another man hurt him a bit, but he didn't want it to show. "I'm happy for you."

"Thank you."

"Well, I suppose I should be going; I just wanted to see you. It's been a long time."

"We'll speak soon," Kristin said.

Nathan nodded. "Take care of yourself."

"You too."

"Goodbye."

"Bye." And Kristin clicked the screen off.

Nathan stared at the blank screen for a few moments and whispered a silent, "I love you." Then, he went to see what Carol was up to.


	17. Without You

**Chapter 17**

**2013**

The building of the seaQuest was going along wonderfully. In fact, the construction of it went faster than Nathan had expected. At this rate, it was going to be fully operational within the next year. He still wrote Kristin and called her on occasion, but for the most part, he tried to be the ideal husband Carol wanted. It seemed Carol was happy with him, for the most part, although she still did not like the fact that Robert was off fighting the war. However, they didn't argue about it anymore.

The holidays were soon upon them, and Robert was coming home to visit. Nathan was excited, and so was Carol. They hadn't seen Robert since the war began. But, unfortunately, on the day Robert was set to arrive, Nathan and Carol got a call on the vid-link from someone they did not expect.

"Hello?" Nathan said.

"Um, yes, Sir. Are you Captain Bridger?" Nathan could tell the young man was a sailor, but he did not recognize him.

"Yes, how can I help you?" Nathan said.

"Well, Sir, I have some unfortunate news. Is your wife nearby?"

"Um, yes..." Nathan was getting a bit worried. He called Carol, who was in the kitchen; she took a seat next to Nathan.

"Captain...Mrs. Bridger. My name is Joseph Wagner, and I served along side your son. It is my deepest regret to inform you that your son, Petty Officer Robert Bridger, has been declared missing in action. He has been presumed deceased; we were on a routine patrol when we were ambushed."

Nathan felt as though it was a dream, as though it wasn't real. He didn't know how, but he thanked the young man and turned off the vid-screen. He placed his arms around Carol as they both cried for the loss of their child.

After the shock wore off and reality set in, Carol begged Nathan to retire from the military; she had lost a son and could not bear the loss of her husband as well. He gave in, losing his own faith in the navy as well. Although Carol didn't say it, Nathan knew that she blamed him again. Nathan was beginning to believe that maybe it was his fault, that he had killed his own son. He obliged Carol and retired. But, being in that house, the house where Robert had grown up, Nathan just couldn't handle. He couldn't handle seeing Robert's things; and he couldn't handle being anywhere near the military. He wanted nothing to do with them or the seaQuest any longer. So, Nathan convinced Carol that they should move, get away from all the chaos, and start anew.

"Don't you see how wonderful it would be for us?" Nathan asked her.

"I don't know; I'm not sure about it," Carol said.

"You said yourself your sick of all the military business and the war. We could get away from all of it. It would save our sanity."

"So, are you planning to move to some hick country town in the middle of nowhere?" Carol asked.

"I was thinking more like an island," Nathan said.

"An island?"

"Uh-huh. I've been looking at some properties near Mexico and Central America. There are some islands near the Yucatan Peninsula up for sail. Now, we wouldn't be completely isolated from civilization; the mainland would only be a boat ride away. But, we'd be away from all the fighting, all the military," Nathan took Carol's hand in his, "Please say you'll consider it; this is what we both need."

"Nathan...Mexico? I've never thought of living in another country," Carol hesitated.

"Just please say you'll think about it, Sweetheart," Nathan pleaded.

Carol thought for a few minutes. "Alright."

"Alright what?" Nathan asked.

"Alright, let's do it. Let's get out of here," Carol agreed.

So, Nathan and Carol sold their house and bought an island off the coast of the Yucatan Peninsula. When Bill Noyce heard about this, he was furious. He dialed Nathan's number on the vid-screen.

"Nathan, what the hell are you thinking? What about the _seaQuest_?"

"Well hello to you too," Nathan said, "And I don't really give a damn about the _seaQuest_ anymore. The navy has taken too much away from me, Bill. I missed my own son grow up because I was away for so long, and now I won't ever see him again," Nathan said sadly.

"Nathan, it wasn't the navy that killed Robert. And the _seaQuest _was your idea. She's practically finished. Are you just going to leave her there in dry dock?" Bill asked.

"That's the plan, yes," Nathan said.

"Nathan, you don't mean that."

"Yes, Bill, I do. The military can have her; they can go blow her up for all I care. All I want to do is spend the rest of my life with my lovely wife and get away from it all," Nathan said.

"Alright," Bill conceded, "When do you leave?"

"Tomorrow."

"You're leaving the country on New Year's Day?"

"A new year, a new life," Nathan said.

"Well, although I don't agree with your decision as a military man, I respect it as your friend," Bill said.

"Thanks, Bill. That means a lot to me," Nathan said.

"I wish you all the best, Nathan. Promise me you'll let me know how you are once in a while."

"I will."

"Goodbye, Nathan."

"Goodbye, Bill," Nathan said before cutting the link.

Nathan sighed as he thought of one more person he ought to tell about this decision. In all the chaos over the past several weeks, he hadn't contacted her at all. But, she hadn't contacted him either which made him wonder what she was up to. He debated calling her on the vid-link, but changed his mind. He didn't want to see her; it would be too much. Besides, it was New Year's Eve; he doubted that she'd even be home, so he E-mailed her.

_Dear Kristin,_

_I'm sorry I haven't written or called in a while; we've had a tragedy here. Robert was killed in action. Well, he's missing in action. The military says he's dead because no one can find a body, but until I see one, I won't believe it. But, as you can imagine, it's been difficult for Carol and I. It might surprise you that I've become very bitter about the military and the war in general. Therefore, I resigned. I no longer want any part of it; I've even signed off on the seaQuest. I told them they can do whatever they want with her. Carol and I actually are moving...tomorrow. We bought an island in the Yucatan Peninsula. We just want to get away. I wanted you to know in case you sent any letters to this address anymore. Once we move, I will let you know the address of where to send anything-most likely a PO box. _

_I hope you are doing well and are happy. Please feel free to E-mail me. I will be checking it as soon as we get settled._

_Love,_

_Nathan_

**2014**

Kristin read her E-mail from Nathan. Admittedly, she felt very sad that he hadn't contacted her in months. She had tried to move on, but it was difficult. Above all, she tried to get rid of that damned shirt of his, but she couldn't. She held onto it just like she held onto the hope that she and Nathan might be together one day. The problem was, on the outside, she was calm, cool, and collected. She was a successful doctor and a scientist; a no-nonsense woman who had come into her own and would not let anyone push her around. But, on the inside, she was a train wreck. She'd secretly hoped that Nathan would find himself unhappy with Carol after he was home. She had scolded herself for this. What kind of friend was she? Obviously she was the kind of friend who was in love with another woman's husband, and she wished that he would leave her. Kristin truly felt sorry for the Bridgers because of Robert. She debated replying to Nathan's E-mail at all. It seemed he was content with his life with Carol; although losing his son was a great tragedy, he and Carol would get through it together. She figured she just may be getting in the way of that. But, then, she thought she ought to at least offer her condolences, remembering how supportive Nathan had been when she'd lost James.

_Dear Nathan,_

_I am so very sorry to hear about Robert. I hope you and Carol are very happy on the island. I am not shocked at all that you've retired. I am, however, a little surprised that you would walk away from your dream. _

Kristin almost wrote 'that you would walk away from me' because that was what her heart was saying, but she didn't. She had to get over this man, had to let it go. She continued.

_But, I can understand it, the seaQuest being a military project. I've been really busy lately, so that's why I haven't written you for a while. Actually, I've met someone, and I am very happy._

Of course, this was a lie, but she wasn't going to let Nathan think she was sitting at home every night, waiting for him. She didn't want him to feel guilty, especially with the loss of his son now.

_Of course, we can still write, but I think our lives are going in different directions, don't you agree? _

_Love,_

_Kristin_


	18. These Things, I'll Never Say

**Chapter 18**

**2014**

Nathan stared at the computer screen after reading Kristin's response, and he felt his heart sink. He was not sure how to respond. He had lost her; she'd met someone else. It was too late. Nathan wanted to tell her how much he missed her. He missed the sound of her voice, her deep brown eyes, her smile, the way she fit perfectly in his arms; most of all, he missed her love. He wanted to tell her that he knew that he hurt her, but that he wanted another chance. But, how could he have another chance when he couldn't even tell Carol how he felt? He had to accept the fact that Kristin had moved on.

Nathan had thought the move would make everything better for him and Carol; unfortunately, it didn't. They were still two people holding onto the past and what used to be. Carol blamed Nathan for Robert's disappearance, and Nathan had an overwhelming amount of guilt for it and for falling in love with Kristin. Although he would never tell Carol he was in love with another woman, Nathan would also never leave Carol, especially now. After she lost a son, he couldn't possibly hurt Carol anymore. Nathan forced himself to write back to Kristin.

_Dear Kristin,_

_Carol and I are all settled in now; Carol sends her love. Thank you for your condolences; you don't know how much it meant to me. I'm really happy to hear that you've met someone; good for you. I hope your life is everything you've dreamed about...and so much more. All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy. I understand that our lives are going in different directions, but still want to hear from you on occasion. Please do that for me; I need to know you're alright once in a while, and I'll do the same for you._

_Love,_

_Nathan_

But, Kristin would not respond to this. She was desperately trying to move on, trying to break free of the invisible hold this man had on her. She did send occasional E-mails to Nathan, and he did the same with her, but they were few and far between. She had to give Nathan the illusion that she was fine, that she'd moved on, and that he should do the same. Of course, neither one of them wanted to forget, but neither one would admit it to the other.

Months went by for Nathan and Carol. It seemed both of them were just going through the motions when it came to their marriage, but one day went particularly well-the day he met a special friend.

Nathan and Carol were going sailing; it was a gorgeous day, and this was the first time Nathan would be going out on the water since they moved to the island. Carol was particularly pleasant as well, which only made the day more enjoyable. Carol had packed a nice picnic lunch, and, after a morning of sailing, and Nathan and she enjoyed eating together.

"Nathan, look!" Carol pointed to a pod of dolphins only a mile or so away from where their boat was.

Nathan had never really been particularly interested in dolphins himself, but he tried to enthusiastic for Carol.

:"Yes, that's amazing, Dear."

"Do you think they'll come any closer?" Carol asked.

"I'm not sure; dolphins learn to be wary of boats, especially with all the fishermen around."

Carol watched the dolphins swim past them in wonderment. She had not been particularly keen on moving at first, but she truly enjoyed these oceanic creatures, and she learned to love their new home. She knew that Nathan only pretended to be interested in dolphins for her, but she did wish that he could see just how wonderful these creatures were.

Nathan and Carol sailed and talked...and actually laughed together for the rest of the day. As the sun was setting, they headed back towards home. However, on the way, Carol spotted a sad scene in the water.

"Nathan, there's a dolphin, and it needs help." She could see it struggling in the water, but could not see exactly what the problem was.

Nathan steered the boat so that they could get a closer look. The dolphin was tangled in a fisherman's net; Nathan grabbed took out his pocket knife and cut the dolphin free. The dolphin swam away, and Nathan thought this would be the last they'd see of it. But, he was wrong.

As he and Carol arrived home and Nathan was tying up the boat to the dock, he and Carol heard the clicking sounds of a dolphin.

Carol laughed, "It looks like someone wants to thank you."

"Are you sure it's the same dolphin? They all kind of look the same," Nathan said.

"Oh, it's him alright. I think he's adopted us."

"What? We're part of his pod now?" Nathan quipped.

"You know dolphins are very intelligent animals; you need to give them more credit. I even read an article about a scientist trying to teach a dolphin a simplified form of sign language. He knows we saved his life," Carol said.

"Sign language, huh?" Nathan thought aloud, "I never knew dolphins were capable of such things."

"Well, how do you think they train them at Sea World?"

"I guess I never thought about it," Nathan said; maybe Carol was right. Dolphins were very interesting, and, if this one stuck around, it could have great potential. The wheels in Nathan's head began turning as he and Carol walked into the house.

"Maybe we should name him," Carol said.

"You mean like a pet?" Nathan asked.

"Uh-huh. I don't think we've seen the last of him."

And Carol had been right, for the dolphin was at the dock every morning to greet Nathan. Nathan began reading books on dolphin training and managed to tame the dolphin, whom he named Darwin. In fact, Nathan spent his days working with Darwin, creating a system of hand signals which the dolphin understood.

In fact, Nathan devoted himself completely to science. His work with Darwin inspired him to write several articles, which appeared in several scientific journals. He also did research on oceanic geography, which was quite fascinating to him. Although he'd not told Kristin about his research, she found out about it when she stumbled upon his articles in her own research. When she discovered this, she decided to write to him.

_Hello Nathan,_

_I know it's been a while, but I recently read about your recent work. I'd never imagined that you would do such research. I am so very proud of you; your work with this dolphin could make great breakthroughs in the near future. Do you know that? I just cannot tell you how amazing it is-that I can actually say that I know the man who has made these discoveries. _

_Well, I just wanted to tell you this; I know that you're busy, so you needn't write back anytime soon if you don't want. All my love to you and Carol; I hope you both are doing well._

_Love,_

_Kristin_

Nathan replied with a simple 'thank you', and that was the last of their correspondence for quite some time.

One day, Carol wasn't feeling well. Nathan helped her into bed before he went out to work with Darwin.

"Don't worry, Dear. All I need is a day of rest, and I'll be better by tomorrow," she told Nathan groggily.

Nathan nodded. "It's probably just the touch of the flu. I'll come and check on you later, OK?"

"Alright," Carol said sleepily.

And Nathan went out to the docks. He would have stayed there all day and forgot about Carol if it hadn't been for the storm system that came rolling in near the island. Nathan went into the house by mid-afternoon because of it. Upon entering the house, he remembered Carol's plight. Therefore, he climbed the stairs to check on her as he promised. But, when he entered the bedroom, he found Carol had collapsed on the floor.

"Oh my God, Carol, are you alright?" he asked as he tried to wake her.

"N-nathan?" she said weakly, "I'm so cold."

Nathan helped her up to get back into bed. She said she was freezing, but her body was burning up. He knew she needed medical attention. However, with the tropical storm in the way, no doctor was going to be able to see her. He tried to remember what he learned in his first aid training from the navy. He knew he had to try his best to bring the fever down and keep Carol hydrated. Nathan tried to search for a thermometer in the house, but couldn't find one, so he tried to determine through touch how high her fever was. Nathan placed a hand gently on her forehead, and her skin burnt his. Nathan drew a lukewarm bath and carried Carol into the bathroom. He lowered her gently into the tub.

"Nathan, it's so cold," Carol said hoarsely.

"I know, Honey, and I'm sorry. We have to try to get your fever down.", Nathan said as he brought a cup of water to her lips to help her drink.

However, Carol refused. "I'm not thirsty."

"Carol, you have to drink something; it will help you feel better."

:"Every time I eat or drink, I throw up. I hate throwing up," she said.

Nathan sighed. He just tried to focus on bringing her fever down. He gently took handfuls of water and emptied them over Carol's hair and body.

After a while, Carol was shivering with cold, so Nathan helped her out of the tub and dried her off. He helped her into some clean pajamas and helped her into bed. He climbed in next to her, holding her close. Unfortunately, her body still burned him with fever. He placed his lips to her forehead and found she felt just as hot as she had before. He tried to get her to drink again, but to no avail.

Carol fell into a restless sleep while Nathan tried to make her as comfortable as possible, with the storm raging in full swing outside. He vowed that as soon as it cleared, he would make sure Carol got to a doctor. Carol's fever raged on, feeling even hotter than before. Nathan again drew a lukewarm bath; he held Carol in his arms as he lowered himself and her into the cool water. Carol was so weak; her fever was so high she was delirious. Nathan was extremely worried about her; he'd never seen her so sick. He tried to cool her down with the water. Carol was beginning to lose consciousness again, but Nathan was worried that if she fell asleep, she may not wake again.

"Carol, Honey, you need to stay awake," Nathan said as he gently shook her.

Carol moaned softly.

"I know, I know," Nathan soothed. "Just stay with me."

But Carol couldn't stay awake; she felt so weak. She couldn't fight it anymore. The illness was consuming her. Her breath became more ragged.

"Carol?" Nathan shook her again. He began sobbing as he received no response. "Carol, Honey, wake up," he cried. He shook her again, causing her to moan again.

"Carol, listen to me. You're going to be fine, but you need to stay awake," Nathan said, still crying, and not really believing what he was saying.

Carol took a slow, final breath, and then, she was gone. Nathan tried to revive her, but he couldn't.

Nathan fell into a deep depression. He'd lost his son and his wife just months apart, and he couldn't save either one of them. He secluded himself on his island, not speaking to anyone. He had so much guilt. He had killed his own son by forcing him into a military life. And, he had killed his wife because he couldn't get her the help she needed. Plus, he'd cheated on her, in his heart, and he could never tell her about it.

And, now, he couldn't even have that love. He'd lost Kristin to some other man. He tried so many times to tell Kristin about Carol, to let her know what was going on. But, he couldn't. If she knew he was single, she might feel guilty herself, feel she had some sort of obligation to him to try and heal him. He certainly didn't want her to put her life on hold for him. So, he felt it best just to break ties with everyone, even Kristin.


	19. Big Girls Don't Cry

**Chapter 19 **

**2015**

Kristin waited for months, but she received no word from Nathan, even after she sent him several E-mails herself. She'd tried calling him, but he'd either changed his number or had his vid-phone disconnected. She even sent both him and Carol regular letters in the mail, but she got no reply from either one of them. Kristin had thought she'd been hurt before with the way things were, but now, not hearing from Nathan at all, it hurt her even more. Although she had wanted him to think that she'd fallen in love with someone else, she still wanted to hear from him. That proved that there may still be hope. Had he finally told Carol about her? Had she forced him to never speak to her again? Had something horrible happened? She didn't know, and it killed her not to.

But, Kristin being the type of woman she is, she immersed herself in her work. At work, she was Dr. Westphalen, and Dr. Westphalen never let her personal life bother her. No one even thought anything of Dr. Westphalen's personal life. So, Kristin hid behind her doctor persona until she left the hospital for the night. Then, she would become Kristin again, and the tragedy of her personal life would meet her again. But one night, she'd made a decision.

After returning home one evening, she picked up that damned shirt of Nathan's that she'd held onto for so long, and she took a pair of scissors, prepared to cut up that shirt, meaning and end to her love for Nathan. But, she couldn't bring herself to destroy it. Instead, she took a box, and in that box, she placed the shirt along with the love letters Nathan had written to her so long ago. Then, she sealed the box shut, and put it in the back of her closet. She wept as she did so, vowing these to be the last tears she would shed over Nathan Bridger. Doing so made her feel as though she'd finally closed this chapter in her life, even though a small part of her heart still held onto the memories.

And, Kristin went about her life. As the months went on, she finally felt she could breathe again. She didn't have the dark cloud of unrequited love over her anymore. And as though her heart screamed she was free again, a fellow colleague took great interest in her. His name was Dr. Adam Stewart, and although he was around ten year's Kristin's senior, they got along swimmingly. He was kind, caring, and gentle, and he loved Kristin dearly. They began dating.

Although Kristin did not tell Adam the whole story about her past, she did tell him that she'd been terribly hurt, so he was very patient with her. He never pushed her into doing more than she was ready to do. But, Kristin found it difficult to give herself completely to him because a part of her reminded her that this was not Nathan. But, she convinced herself that she had to do so. This man loved her and she had to learn to love him completely.

After dating Adam for six months, she decided it was time to make things more serious. She called up Adam on the vid-phone.

"Hello, Darling," Adam had said when he saw who it was.

"Hi," she said with a smile.

"What's on your mind?" he asked.

"You," she said huskily.

"Hmmm," Adam said with a smile, "And, I suppose you'd like to do something about that?"

"Uh-huh," Kristin said coyly, "How about you come pick me up, and I'll spend the night with you."

"Yes, ma'am," Adam said, "I'll be right over."

But, Adam would never arrive at Kristin's house because his car was hit by a drunk driver. Adam was killed instantly, and Kristin found herself alone once again. She cried over Adam because it was a life lost. However, she realized she was never in love with him and probably never would have been, although she did care for him deeply. And, it was at this moment that Kristin understood what Nathan had gone though. She understood how she could be in love with Nathan but love Adam as well as Nathan did with Carol. Losing Adam made Kristin realize that she needed closure with Nathan. There was no way she could continue her life without knowing why Nathan wouldn't answer her E-mails and letters. So, although she couldn't get a hold of Nathan, she knew one person who may know what was going on.

Kristin purchased a plane ticket to Florida. When she arrived, she looked up Bill Noyce's phone number.

"Hello, Admiral. I'm not sure if you remember me, but-"

"Kristin? Of course I remember you. What are you doing in town?"

"Well, I came to see you, actually. Is there somewhere we can meet and talk?" Kristin asked.

"Why don't you come over for dinner?" Bill Noyce gave her the address.

A few hours later, Kristin arrived at the Noyces' home. She rang the doorbell.

Janet Noyce answered the door with a smile. "Kristin, please come in. How nice to see you again!"

"Thank you. Likewise," Kristin replied as she entered the house.

Janet led Kristin into the dining room, and Bill entered and greeted Kristin. The three exchanged small talk until dinner was ready.

Upon sitting down to dinner, Bill asked, "So, Kristin, what brings you all the way to Florida to see me?"

"Well, I was hoping for a favor. I've been trying to get hold of Nathan and Carol and have not been able to do so for almost a year. I was hoping you knew how I can reach them," Kristin replied.

Bill and Janet exchanged worried glances. Bill knew that Kristin and the Bridgers were friends, although he did not know about Nathan and Kristin's love affair. However, he found it surprising that Nathan had never informed Kristin what had happened. Bill hesitated before he spoke.

"Uh, Kristin, I really hate to be the one to tell you this, but Carol passed away about eight months ago. I am so sorry that you had to find out like this."

Kristin was speechless. Bill continued.

"I thought Nathan had told you, but don't feel bad. He doesn't speak to anyone these days, not even me. He just spends his days alone on that damned island with that dolphin of his and no one else."

Kristin finally found her voice, "Do you know how to get to his island?"

"I do, but Nathan won't let anyone near the island. He has connections with the boaters on the mainland. He has given them strict orders that no one gets on without his permission," Bill explained.

"He won't answer my E-mails or my letters; I really need to speak with him. I tried calling him, but-"

"Nathan disconnected his vid-phone," Bill finished. "I know, Kristin. He just wants to be alone. I'm sorry, but he's unreachable. I haven't spoken to him since the funeral. I've tried contacting him since as well, but received no answer. Did you know that the military finally got his submarine in the water She's been up and running for months now, and I wanted him to know. But, he doesn't seem to care."

Kristin nodded with understanding. Maybe she couldn't see Nathan, but she had to try to contact him one last time. She thanked Janet and Bill for the evening and was on her way. After returning back to London, she wrote Nathan a letter.

_Dear Nathan,_

_I've been trying to contact you for months, but you won't answer me. I had no idea what was going on, so I decided to find out for myself. I talked to Bill Noyce to find out what had happened, and he informed me of Carol's passing. Nathan, why didn't you tell me? I am so truly sorry for your loss._

_I want to be completely honest with you, Nathan. I was dating a wonderful man, and I did love him. But, I wasn't in love with him. Do you know why? Because he wasn't you. He was very kind, and he loved me with all his heart, I'm sure of it, but I couldn't give him the same thing. I couldn't give my heart because it wasn't mine to give. Don't you see? It's because my heart belongs to you. The man I loved died, Nathan, and I am sorry for that. However, through his death, I understood. I understood what you had gone through for so long with Carol. I blamed you for so long, blamed you for not leaving her. But, now see what it is like to love someone and not want to hurt them, even if you are in love with someone else. _

_So, Nathan, I am telling you that I am alone. There is no one else in my life, Nathan. I don't want anyone else but you. So, now I need to know. Do you still want me? I know you are alone too. You don't have to be. I can be there for you. We can help heal one another, Nathan. We can be there for each other. We can love each other. Please consider it. Love me, want me. _

_Please write back no matter what the answer is. I need to know, Nathan. I will always love you, and I promise I will never stop._

_Love,_

_Kristin_


	20. I Should Tell You

**Chapter 20**

**2015**

Nathan read Kristin's letter, but he couldn't bring himself to write back to her. He wanted to tell her so many things, to tell her to come to him. But, it wasn't that simple. Nathan had so many emotional demons that Kristin would never be able to be completely loved the way she deserved. Nathan was a broken man, and his guilt weighed too heavily on him. He couldn't bring himself to tell Kristin this, to refuse her. He had hurt her too much, and he didn't want to do that anymore by telling her no. Therefore, he left things the way they were. Kristin would soon realize it, he knew, and she would be angry. But, then, she would move on just as she had done before. She was better alone than with him, he felt.

**2016**

Kristin waited for months with the hope that Nathan would answer her letter. She hoped and prayed that he would consider her offer. Unfortunately, she received nothing, and it hurt her. Again, Nathan had ripped her heart out and left her to bleed. She couldn't handle that anymore. She vowed it was never going to happen again. She swore off men for good; she became as tough as nails with others. She'd remembered when Charles used to refer to her as the 'Ice Queen', and now, the name fit for she now was just that. And it was all due to the loss of her true love. She devoted herself solely to her work and nothing else.

**2017**

The seaQuest had been part of the NORPAC fleet, captained by Marilyn Stark. However, Stark had a personal vendetta to destroy everything that stood in her way, which meant not following protocol. Therefore, NORPAC was dissolved once the war ended, and a new world peace was instituted by the formation of the United Earth Organization, UEO. The UEO decided to use the seaQuest as an explorative and scientific vessel consisting of both military and science personnel. As part of the UEO, Admiral Noyce had some ideas for the seaQuest, knowing just who would be the perfect person to consult as to the creation of the science labs. And, if they played their cards right, perhaps he could convince her to run them as well. Bill dialed her number on the vid-link.

"Bill Noyce! What a surprise!" Kristin answered.

"Hello, Kristin. How are you?" Bill asked.

"I'm well...and yourself?"

"I cannot complain. Listen let me cut to the chase here and tell you why I am calling. I have a proposition for you."

"Yes?"

So, Bill proceeded to tell her about the seaQuest and Marilyn Stark. "And, now they want to change the _seaQuest_ from a military vessel to a scientific one. There's just one problem," Bill said.

"What's that?" Kristin asked, anticipating what Bill was going to ask her.

"We need to consult someone with enough experience to design the research labs. You are the first person I thought of for the job. Please say yes, Kristin. I've done nothing but boast about you to the Navy Brass and the UEO. Now I need you to show them you can do it," Bill urged.

"And if I agree?" Kristin asked.

"There's a good chance that they'd offer you a very lucrative position once they know how skilled you are. It would be a great opportunity," Bill said.

Kristin was quiet for a short time. "I'll have to get back to you."

"Why?" Bill asked desperately.

Kristin laughed, "I have a fourteen-year old daughter I need to speak to about it first. I don't make any life-changing decisions without telling her," she explained. "Can I get back to you tomorrow?"

"That will be fine; I'll be waiting for your call."

"I'll talk to you soon," Kristin said.

"Goodbye," Bill said as he cut the connection.

Jasmine attended a college preparatory boarding school in Barnsley. It had been her idea to go there in the first place; she wanted to follow in her mother's footsteps and be a doctor and scientist. Therefore, she convinced Kristin it was the best place for her to go to school. Cynthia was attending Stanford University in California already, so Kristin did not feel the need to ask her permission. However, Kristin still didn't want to leave the country without consulting Jasmine to know how she felt about it. Kristin dialed her number on the vid-link.

"Hello, Sweetheart," Kristin said.

"Hi, Mom." And, realizing that they had just spoken yesterday, Jasmine asked, "Is there something wrong?"

"Can't I call my daughter without there being something wrong?" Kristin asked.

"Of course, Mother, but we just spoke yesterday."

"I know." Kristin smiled. "But I do need to talk to you about something," Kristin admitted.

"I knew it," Jasmine said. "It's not bad news, is it? Is Cynnie alright?"

"She's fine; stop worrying. No, I just got a job offer that I wanted to discuss with you."

"With me? Since when do you need my permission?" Jasmine asked.

"Since the job offer is in the states-in Florida," Kristin explained.

"Oh," Jasmine said.

"So, what do you think?" Kristin asked.

Jasmine thought for a moment. "If you went, would you mind if I stayed here?"

Now it was Kristin's turn to think. She had anticipated that if she took Bill's offer that Jasmine would move with her. However, she knew Jasmine was at a school which she loved.

"Are you telling me that you would still want me to go?" Kristin asked.

"Mom, all Cynnie and I want is for you to be happy. If this is what you want, I say go for it. Now that I'm away at school, we don't see each other except at breaks and holidays; we could still do the same thing whether you live in London or somewhere else. And, we would still call all the time. You know Grandma and Grandpa would take care of me if I needed something. I'll be fine, Mom," Jasmine assured her.

Tears came to Kristin's eyes, "I just don't want you angry with me because you think I abandoned you."

"Mom, I'm almost fifteen years old. I'm almost grown up. You aren't going to screw me up because you abandoned me," Jasmine reassured her. Then, to cheer Kristin up, she joked, "I'm already screwed up."

Kristin laughed a little. "So you're sure?" she asked wiping her eyes.

"Yes, Mother. I promise."

"Alright. Then, I guess I'm moving to Florida," Kristin said.

"Good for you, Mom. I love you," Jasmine said.

"I love you too, Sweetheart. Thank you," Kristin said.

"Anytime. Talk to you soon. Bye."

"Goodbye, Honey." And with that, Kristin cut the connection.

The next morning, Kristin called Bill Noyce and told him the news. Within a month, Kristin had made the move to Florida to design the research labs and oversee the construction of them.

**2018**

A year and a half later, the _seaQuest_ was ready again. As Bill predicted, Kristin was offered the position of Chief Medical Officer and head of the science team, and she accepted. Commander Jonathan Ford had been the temporary captain until a permanent one was found. Of course, again, Bill Noyce thought of only one person for the job, and he was determined to try to make him accept it if it was the last thing he would do.

So, Bill went to Nathan's island to convince him to take command of the seaQuest. Nathan was not very welcoming at first, but Bill finally convinced him to at least see the seaQuest. Nathan and Bill soon arrived on the bridge of the seaQuest. Bill never mentioned Kristin's position to Nathan, and he never told Kristin his plan to try and get Nathan to captain the seaQuest; he just thought he'd let Nathan find out on his own. He'd hoped perhaps it would help convince him, and he figured on Kristin being happy when she saw Nathan after so many years.

Nathan had been touring the seaQuest all day. Bill had taken the liberty of bringing Darwin to the boat, which Nathan did not appreciate at first. As Commander Ford was showing Nathan the hydroponics lab, Nathan heard a voice that sounded familiar to him.

"_Commander Ford_," said a woman's voice, "_let's get something clear, shall we. My people will not be treated as so much cargo. We are scientists; we are not mindless military drones_."

Nathan recognized her as soon as she came into view. She looked exactly the same, perhaps even more beautiful. He could see that she would certainly not let people push her around anymore, and he would hate to be on the receiving end of her anger.

"_Your point, Doctor?_" said Ford, obviously annoyed.

"_Your people have occupied areas clearly marked as science research labs. I want them removed immediately_," Kristin demanded.

"_May I remind you, that you are aboard a military vessel_," said Ford.

"_This is a research and exploration vessel. Besides, we outnumber you one hundred twenty-four to eighty-eight_," Kristin said crossing her arms.

"_That sounds like a threat, Doctor_," said Ford.

"_At least you have a grasp for the obvious_," Kristin said snarkily, batting her eyes. Nathan found himself laughing out loud at the scene.

Ford pointed his finger at Kristin, "_Now you understand this_-"

"_Don't you point your finger at me_," Kristin interrupted Ford before he could finish. Then, she noticed Nathan standing in the doorway of the hydroponics lab laughing. She did not recognize him. "_You find this amusing?_" she asked.

Nathan tried to stop laughing as he said, "_Yes, as a matter of fact, I do_."

"_And what are you, some kind of stowaway?_" Kristin asked.

"_Something like that. The name's Bridger_," Nathan said smiling at her.

Kristin narrowed her eyes a bit as she looked into Nathan's. "_Nathan Bridger_?" she asked, surprised.

Nathan looked at the name tag he was wearing, "_Last time I looked_," he quipped.

"_I know your work. Topography, thermal range variances. I tried to contact you once. They said you were...unreachable. I'm sorry, Kristin Westphalen, medical doctor, physical oceanographer, and head of the science team aboard this ship_," she said as she held out her hand. She did not want to let on to any onlookers that she and Nathan had known each other. She discreetly acted as though this was the first time the had met.

"_Doctor_," Nathan said as he took her hand in his.

"_Well, I'm late for a staff meeting, um, it's nice meeting you_," Kristin said to Nathan. Then turning to Ford, she said, "_I'm not finished with this, Commander, not by a long shot_." And with that, Kristin stormed off.

"_She seems very committed_," Nathan said to Ford. He acted as though he had not known her before this either.

"_She ought to be committed_," said Ford sarcastically.

As Nathan watched Kristin walk off, he thought to himself. In all places to meet again, she was here. Bill obviously knew that and didn't tell him. Although Bill hadn't known about their past, he knew they were friends. Nathan wanted to talk to her but decided now was not the time. But, for the first time that day, he actually considered that he might stay on the _seaQuest_.

**A/N: The italicized conversation between Ford, Westphalen, and Bridger is not mine; it is direct dialogue from "To Be or Not to Be."**


	21. Do You?

**Chapter 21**

**2018**

As Kristin headed to her staff meeting, thousands of thought raced through her head. First, how could Bill Noyce do that to her? How could he bring Nathan aboard without at least telling her? She noted that she was definitely going to give him a piece of her mind the next time she spoke with him. And, then, seeing Nathan...what that did to her! Old feelings were drudged up so that they brought tears to her eyes. She quickly composed herself before entering the ward room to conduct her meeting. She was definitely going to have to present herself as the perfect semblance of professionalism and keep her feelings in check if she and Nathan were going to be working together.

After a virus was discovered planted in the computer systems on seaQuest, Kristin proved herself invaluable to Nathan in her ideas in handling the situation. Much to Nathan's dismay, she convinced him that Lucas, the seventeen-year old computer genius could and would get to the bottom of it. Nathan liked the boy as soon as he met him, although he found it difficult to put all his faith into one so young. But, Kristin had assured him that he would not let them down. Plus, Lucas had designed the vocoder which allowed them to understand Darwin's speech, something Nathan had thought of for years but did not know how to implement.

Nathan proved himself invaluable to Kristin, defending her scientific morals to Jonathan Ford, who had a problem with the military/science clash. Kristin did appreciate Nathan's support, but that did not stop her from voicing her opinion when it came to Darwin and Nathan's idea to have him swim out of a torpedo tube. Kristin had insisted that Nathan was taking too many chances with Darwin's life, but Nathan insisted that he knew what Darwin was capable of, fitting Darwin with an apparatus which would allow him to breathe through a rebreather like a human. This would allow him to swim deeper to tag the Delta 4. After the Delta 4 was defeated and all aboard seaQuest were safe, Nathan went to meet Darwin to praise him. However, he found he had been beaten to the punch for when he entered the moon pool area, Kristin was already there telling the animal how well he had done and petting him. Nathan couldn't help noticing how beautiful she still was and that she was still the same gentle woman under that tough exterior she had put up. As Kristin noticed Nathan standing there, she looked up at him, waiting expectantly for him to say something. Nathan wanted to tell her so many things, but he decided it was not the time yet. He simply nodded towards her and left the area.

As the evening was winding down, Kristin found herself lying in her bunk, unable to sleep. She was thinking about Nathan; she wondered if he was thinking of her as well. Although she didn't know why she had brought it with her, she dug out a box from under her bunk, the box which held her memories of Nathan that she'd packed away a few years back. She opened it and pulled out the shirt of Nathan's she had saved. She pulled it over the night gown she was wearing and wrapped it around her body. She'd debated reading the love letters, but she decided she didn't feel like crying over them just then. She definitely couldn't and wouldn't do that to herself right now. She decided to do what she often did when she couldn't sleep. She got undressed and changed into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. Then, she pulled Nathan's shirt over it and walked to the lab. She was sure that if she did some work, it would take her mind off of Nathan.

Kristin liked this time of night on the boat. It was well after midnight, and it was very quiet. There were a few crewmen in the halls working the night shift, but, other than that, the halls were empty. But, Kristin did not know that Nathan was in his quarters thinking of her and wondering if she was awake as well. He knew that he and Kristin had a lot to talk about. The problem was neither one of them wanted to let anyone else know about their past, and Kristin and he had expertly diverted any suspicions of this by acting as though they'd never met before. Nathan had wanted to wrap his arms around her the moment he saw her again, but did not due to the circumstances. And, would Kristin even want that? How could she forgive him for never answering her letter? He wouldn't blame her if she wanted nothing to do with him. After a while, he decided he had to see if she was awake. Even if she wasn't, perhaps he could convince her to stay awake and talk with him. He grabbed his PAL to call Kristin.

"Westphalen," Kristin answered. Nathan was relieved to hear that she did not sound as though she had been asleep. When Kristin did not receive an answer immediately, she said, "Hello?"

"I'm sorry, Doctor," Nathan said.

"Nathan? Is there something wrong?" she asked with concern, wondering if there was some sort of medical emergency.

"No, I mean, there's no one in need of medical attention. I just couldn't sleep, and I was wondering if you might feel the same way," Nathan explained.

There was a slight pause from Kristin. Then, she answered, "Actually, yes."

"Would you like some company?" Nathan asked hopefully.

Kristin took a deep breath. Although this may turn out to be a long night, they may as well stop avoiding the inevitable. They knew that they were going to have to confront one another eventually. No better time than the present.

When she did not answer immediately, Nathan said, "Or if you don't want-"

"No, Nathan, it's alright," Kristin said softly, "I was just thinking for a moment. I'm in the lab; I'll be waiting for you." And with that, she cut the connection.

Nathan changed into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt as well. He pulled a blue denim shirt over it. A few brief moments later, he arrived in the lab. He made it a point to be quiet as he watched Kristin. She hadn't noticed him, and he wanted to keep it that way for a short time. She definitely looked different than before, looking casual in jeans and a T-shirt. Nathan thought the denim shirt she wore over her T-shirt looked somewhat familiar, but he couldn't place his finger on it just yet. Her hair was long and loose, and she was like a vision to him. As she worked she turned her back to him, moving to another work station to organize slides of some sort. He walked quietly up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. Kristin jumped.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you," Nathan said, almost laughing.

"Well, what do you expect?" Kristin said, obviously annoyed as she tried to calm her nerves. "It's the middle of the night, and I don't normally have visitors here."

"You knew I was coming," Nathan said.

"Yes, but I didn't know you were planning to scare me half to death," Kristin replied.

They were both quiet for a moment as they both tried to read the other's intentions. Finally, Nathan broke the silence.

"I was hoping we could talk," Nathan explained.

"Isn't that what you're doing?" Kristin said, still a bit annoyed at being frightened.

"What's with you, Kristin? What happened to you?" Nathan asked.

"What are you talking about, Nathan?" Kristin asked.

"I mean how come you come off as so cold and heartless to some people now. I saw how you handled Ford. That isn't you. That's not the Kristin _I_ knew. What happened to you?" Nathan asked.

Kristin felt her anger rise as she yelled, "The Kristin _you_ knew? How the _hell _would you know anything about her? You abandoned her, and she had to learn to get by on her own. I'll tell you what happened to her; _you_ did!"

An ensign on patrol heard the commotion and entered the lab to see what the problem was. "Is everything alright, Captain, Doctor?"

"Everything's fine, Ensign. Thank you," Nathan said, feeling sheepish. The ensign left the two alone. Kristin had turned her back to Nathan as she stood with her arms crossed. Nathan walked up behind her and gently placed his hands on her shoulders. He was pleased when she didn't pull away.

"Look, maybe we should have this conversation elsewhere," he said quietly.

"No, I think this conversation is over," Kristin said showing her anger, but making a point to say it quietly enough so as not to draw anymore attention.

Nathan whirled her around. "Now you listen to me," he said sternly, "You may not want to speak to me...fine, but I do have a lot to tell you. So, you are going to listen to what I have to say because if we are going to work together, we need to clear some things up. I think we both know that."

Kristin said nothing, surprised by Nathan's authority. She just nodded.

"Good," Nathan said a bit more gently. "I suppose we should take this to my quarters."

"Is that really appropriate?" Kristin asked.

"What? A captain and his CMO cannot have a mature conversation in the privacy of the captain's quarters?" Nathan asked. "Do you have any other suggestions?"

Kristin shook her head. Nathan said nothing and grabbed her hand as he led her to his room.

As they entered Nathan's quarters, Nathan led Kristin to a chair. "Now, sit," he ordered.

Kristin did as she was told as she was prepared to listen to Nathan. Nathan did not sit down himself. He walked behind her as he spoke.

"Look, Kristin, I know there is nothing I can do to change what I did to you. I know that I hurt you, but I didn't meant to. You have to believe me. After Carol died, I just couldn't bring myself to reach out to anyone, even you. I had lost Robert, I had lost Carol. I tried thousands of times to bring myself to contact you; I wanted to contact you. But, I kept thinking that what if something happened to you. What if we built a life together and you died too. I couldn't handle that. I had lost so much already. And, you didn't want me if I wasn't emotionally ready."

Nathan paused to see if Kristin was going to say anything to this, but she just sat silently listening. So, he continued.

"I didn't know how much I still wanted you until I saw you this morning. I never thought my day would end up like this, but I am glad it did. I think it's a sign, a sign that maybe we're meant to be together. I spent many years alone thinking, and I think I can finally commit to you. I love you, Kristin. I still want you. I've always wanted you. Now, my question for you is, do you still want me?"


	22. To Make You Feel My Love

**Chapter 22**

**2018**

Nathan waited for an answer, but Kristin was silent. He still stood behind her, and since he was standing across the room, he walked closer to her. As he went closer, he noticed Kristin's shoulders shaking. He suddenly realized she was crying. Had it not been for her trembling shoulders, he wouldn't have known for it was the type of sobbing so painful that it's silent. Nathan walked in front of her and kneeled before her.

"Oh, Kristin," he said softly as he wrapped his arms around her, "Please don't cry."

Kristin was torn. She found herself once again torn between her heart and her head, and the feeling was too overwhelming. Her head told her to run from Nathan's room-to get away-to lock herself in her room and cry herself to sleep until she could compose herself. Then, she could push all her feeling inside as she had done before; no one would know the difference. But, her heart told her that Nathan would. She knew he wouldn't let it go if she ran; she couldn't hide from him, especially on a submarine. She submitted to him, finally thinking with her heart, allowing his arms to encircle her as she cried into his shoulder. Yes, she wanted this, needed this. He'd hurt her so much, but he was the only one who could heal that, the only one who could take that hurt away. She wrapped her arms around him as he held her.

"It's alright, Sweetheart," Nathan soothed as he rubbed her back, "I'm here. I'm yours, and I'm not going anywhere. I know I've hurt you so much, and I am so sorry. Please let me heal you, Baby. Let me love you."

Kristin willed herself to stop crying enough to be able to speak. She pulled away from Nathan enough to look at him. Nathan reached out to touch Kristin's face and wiped the stray tears from one of her cheeks.

"Nathan, I forgive you," Kristin whispered through her tears, "I'm yours, and I've never stopped wanting you either."

Nathan gently kissed her forehand at this news with tears coming to his own eyes. He couldn't believe this angel had been sent to him, but he vowed to never be so careless with her again. He kissed her eyes. He'd lost her once, and he was a fool for doing so. He wasn't going to let that happen again. He kissed her cheek, and then he captured her lips in a gentle kiss, which Kristin gratefully returned.

Nathan broke the kiss and held Kristin close to him as he whispered, "I'm so lucky to have you, and I'm never letting go."

Kristin moved her head so that she was looking at him. She smiled through her tears and said, "Oh really? What about when we both have to go to work?"

"You know what I mean," Nathan said releasing his hold on her so that she could wipe her eyes. Nathan stared at her, and he suddenly realized why the shirt she was wearing looked familiar.

"Hey, that's my shirt," he said to her.

Kristin laughed. "Possession is nine-tenths of the law, Captain," she said coyly.

"We'll just see about that," Nathan teased as he tried to get the shirt away from Kristin, but she moved. Nathan proceeded to chase her around the room as Kristin tried to avoid him from catching her. However, Nathan did catch her.

"I think this," he said pulling at the shirt as he slid it off her shoulders, "is mine."

Kristin pouted, "I thought it looked better on me anyway."

Nathan laughed, "Well, you do have a point there, Doctor. However, I promise you'll get it back." And with that, Nathan let the shirt fall to the floor. He then kissed Kristin passionately.

She returned the kiss while her hands encircled Nathan's neck. Then, Nathan trailed light kisses along her jaw and down her throat eliciting soft moans from Kristin.

As Nathan continued his assault, Kristin pulled Nathan's denim shirt off as well.

Slowly the couple made their way to Nathan's bunk, leaving a trail of clothing behind them until there were no barriers between them.

Nathan gently lowered Kristin down on the bunk, and he showed her how much he loved her holding nothing back. Kristin reciprocated, giving Nathan everything she had. As bodies entangled, cries of pleasure filled the air until both found release. They collapsed breathlessly into each other's arms.

Nathan held Kristin close as he kissed her forehead gently. "I love you so much, Sweetheart."

"I love you too," Kristin said.

"Are you tired?" Nathan asked.

"Not really," Kristin replied.

"Something on your mind?"

"I was just wondering where we go from here."

"What do you mean? We're here together. I'm not going anywhere, Kristin. I told you that, and I meant it," Nathan said.

"No, I mean, what are we going to do? Isn't this against the rules? Isn't this fraternization?" Kristin asked worriedly.

"Oh, I see what you mean," Nathan said, thinking for a moment. Then, he replied, "Well, technically, since you're a civilian, it isn't full fraternization. Still, perhaps we should keep our relationship on the down low for a while, just to be sure. I wouldn't want either one of us getting thrown off the boat, would you?"

"Over my dead body. I just got you back; I'm not about to lose you again. I can be discreet. Didn't I do a good job of that earlier?" Kristin asked.

Nathan nodded, "That you did. Besides, I think it's kind of exciting sneaking around. I think we can get creative with stealing kisses when no one is watching. Does that sound like fun?"

Kristin laughed, "It could be interesting."

"So you're on board?" Nathan asked.

"As long as I'm with you," Kristin answered.

"Always, and I'll never let go," Nathan promised as he captured Kristin's lips in a passionate kiss, and he meant it.

**The Beginning **

**A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed my first fanfiction story. I am kind of sad to see it be over, but I am working on another already. I feel the need to explain that I have a theory that Nathan and Kristin were intimate almost the whole time during season 1, even if we didn't see it. It could have happened, and for the readers who think it unlikely...in my story, it had been twenty years...I thought it was about time. **

**Thank you to all those who took the time to review; it helped boost my confidence and compelled me to finish the story. To those of you who read but did not review, thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. And, to those of you just discovering this fic, feel free to review. I want to know what you think, even if you tell me it's the worst thing you've ever read. Anonymous reviews are enabled, so please tell me what you think. **


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